I love how you wrote what you did

Submitted by Stephanie (United States), Jun 11, 2009 at 12:50

Everything you say in this response to Amber is true. I never married the man I knew. I spent two months with him in Egypt and everything was almost perfect Then when he came here he changed. I grew afraid. I didn't know if I could handle being married to him. He could be kind and then so completely hard and demanding. I delayed in marrying him and he got extremely mean at first. I explained to him maybe it was stress from being in a new Country but I felt unsure of him. He actually cried. I wanted to wait and spend more time with him before we married because I didn't feel I knew him well. All I know is I was afraid.

For a few months he was pacing and pushing me to marry him and then he seemed to calm and be willing to wait for me until I was ready. He even became more patient and tender with me. That was all about the time his visa expired but he managed to be working and living. He started changing with me and getting worse on being private about his affairs with me about the exact time his visa was to expire. He seemed to conceal things. When I asked him why, he would say he just didn't want to concern me with his problems. He was extremely touchy about is computer when he was around me making sure he was turned a certain way if I was around so I couldn't see and then shutting it down right when he was done. He asked me to be a joint sponsor because his cousin couldn't do it alone. He had two cousins he lived with in California.

God...what an idiot I was. He knew what to say to make me feel guilty enough to do it. He said he wouldn't have been stuck here if it wasn't for me. He used to practically broadcasted me to all his friends and family at first showing me off to the world. Now he took great care in hiding me from everyone. I wasn't on any of his sites like "Facebook" or "Myspace" and he told me they were just sites. He told me if he wanted to meet someone he could meet them anywhere and I was being silly. I know it's reasonable what he said but I went from having my pictures splattered all over his site to...when I didn't marry him right away...to being completely removed and concealed.

When I was in Egypt with him I always remembered how we were and hoped it could be again but I realized I totally just didn't trust him. When I questioned him he always said everything was my imagination or I was a drama queen. The last time I was with him I asked if I could see his computer to look something up and he literally told me no. He even got the computer from me..it was old and crappy but ..still...It had been mine before.

I do remember two months before his visa was to expire that he was talking with the woman he ended up marrying. I had come into the house and saw him online with her. He left not knowing I was nearby and I looked and saw what she had said. She had said she would marry him as a friend or perhaps give him a fiance visa if he needed it but...she also seem to love him. When I questioned him he joked with me and said she was only a friend and yeah she cared for him but he didn't feel the same so I shouldn't be worrying. He ended up marrying that same woman. She had one child and was like over 300 pounds. I assumes she hopes someday he would love her completely for all what she does for him. I don't know. I know she is defensive of him so he definitely has her under his charms. He said in texts, messages, everything to me that he was paying her and it was all just for a green card.

I honestly can say I just felt totally deceived when I realized everything that was going on. They live apart, I knew that but there were times he had to spend with her. Even if they were short times, when he was with her I am sure he did consumate with her just to convince her he was sincere. :( this made me feel so sick because:(. I had no idea he married her the whole time. For a year of being married to her he called me every day saying he loved me and that I was the only one. For a year of being married to her he talking lovingly and sweetly to me. God for a year. Now you see I had known him for almost four years now but only a year and maybe four months in person. You'd think I would have known what was going on. I am highly educated. I can take care of myself. I just let him get under my skin.

He flew here just a few months ago even. My head just spins...he had her for his greencard and me for his sexual appetite. When he felt I was causing trouble for him he totally turned mean and now he is just awful to me. He wrote once to me in a text after all this came out: "for God sakes this is the USA, you were just a sex partner". No internet relationship is worth for such feelings..

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