AmberRose

Submitted by Stephanie (United States), Jun 14, 2009 at 19:44

Amber Rose you are very sweet.

The man I knew was also fluent in English. It was amazing. I could understand him in every way. He also was incredible at first, saying he understood every emotion I felt and always simpathizing with me. It's crazy to think back to how he was and now how he is. He is so awful now. He was clear that I was only ever for sex to him and I have texts from him even saying this. In Egypt he took me to a place to paint while he watched me the whole time, for like two hours simply because he knew I like to paint.

I somehow thought how sweet he was to be so sacrificing for me... He had nothing to do but watch me and he smiled at me the whole time. He held me and loved me like any man. We played in the pool together, we did alot together...we were so close and I never thought any man could fake such things. He said all the famous phrases, that he'd always be there, that he could never touch another woman if he didn't feel love for her, that he always wanted me in his life. I swear I hate myself for being so gullible and letting him hurt me and now I am unkind to every man that happens to be from Morroco, Egypt or Turkey (any friend I had before) or any other country mentioned on this page all because of this stupid man. I just don't trust anyone and they'd better never talk about money lol.

I can't believe even now I cry over how I let him use me and hurt me and I know he is just not a good or kind person. I don't cry over the fact I loved him, I cry because I was sooo stupid to risk so much for this kind of man. Over and over I tell myself he is not that person I knew... but I still remember his face, his eyes and how he laughed with me. He even stayed up all night staring at me while I slept. I'd awaken with him just laying next to me watching me and I'd ask him why. I will never understand how a man from these places can do this. How we as women can give our hearts and these men, how in the h*ll do they not grow an attachment like we do?

I am sure he is making some woman, as I write this, swoon and think she is beautiful. He just knew what to do and how to do it. I don't know how they stay so on top of their goals without losing their heart and how we manage to get so crazy we'd sacrifice our lives for them. There are times I simply feel broken because I can't believe I gave so much for nothing. i hate myself for letting him touch me because this made me seem just like a loose woman I suppose, even though I loved him so much . I didn't mean to do anything wrong. I am not this loose person. I have only had sex with three people in all my life and one was my husband and one was him. I would never be that way but he has made me feel not only that way but far worse. The worse thing is, to feel like you want them to suffer when in all reality, normally you'd never want pain on anyone. I don't want to be a woman scorned or a woman wanting revenge. I don't want to be this kind of person. I just want to shut my eyes and feel peace again.

Here is something he wrote to me a week ago: The only thing is u sleeping with every moving object & trust this nothing has changed it was all inside u & as for the video it is just turn on to me & if possible we can work out deal for something i might provide u with ;) as u will always be my favorite porn star remember.... and when I told him never...he said this:
well if u changed ur mind u know how to reach me & i will be sending u something u will like ;)

I never did one thing mean or unkind to this man. I didn't sleep with anyone else either. If you gather he wanted bad videos of me...... and this is how he talks to me now.

It doesn't matter how sweet or kind you are. They will take everything you do or give to them as a weakness and walk all over you and use you. They will make you feel guilt if you fight back or become head strong. Mine always compared me to Egyptian women and how they are and basically they just knew how to act or deal with their man. Believe me this will always make you feel like you are inferior and not good enough no matter what you do. I don't know if your man is like this but I warn you if he is and you give in and have sex with him, give him things when he complains about money or whatever ..and mine at first was very giving with me.

He bought me everything in Egypt and gave me money here to buy us things. Still he'd complain of his circumstances at times when we were apart and I'd feel guilty that he suffered. They know what to say without completely asking for money and things and you will feel sad for him because you love him. What you will also see is, eventually when you have hardships he wont care as much for you as you do for him. Don't play into these games and protect yourself. If you get close, don't give into the basic things these men are after for a long time. Any self respecting man will never take money from any woman not even just their wife but any woman.

Culture is different also. I know here in the USA I would never be considered easy but there, women don't have sex most of the time until marriage and they are even fortunate to know their man. After marriage I don't know what they do but I've heard stories of laisons just like here. What I realize is these man have it in their minds that women are everywhere and so many for them. If you start complaining, such as, about him not being around enough, if you start feeling sad because of it and interfering in how they wish things to be or, what mine would always say: "Causing more stress for him." they will be more eager to move on to a more easy woman that they think doesn't seem so complicated.

You are so sweet. I'd give anything to go back four years and never have met him. I don't say your man is bad. I just say...protect yourself immensely. It will keep you sweet:)

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