Response to Katy

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jun 19, 2009 at 21:40

Welcome!

Okay, Katy you have my attention. We agree on some things, and on some things we do not.

First of all, this statement:

So i never did anything to rub this in his face. I know of some woman with egyptian husbands who deliberately drink/smoke/wear mini skirts as some kind of act of defiance at their husbands culture then they wonder why they vanish once they get their papers..

You telling me this, Katy really bothers me. It reminds me of a shallow defense post. These always spell trouble of sort, and is a very different tone set from your other posts. The reality is, Katy these men (and believe me, I could spend DAYS telling you stories about how women outside of the Middle East treat American men the same) I won't deny that some Western women have serious issues whoring themselves out. I know, because I've dated enough for one lifetime. I, for one, would have a major problem with that.

Having said that, I would say well over 90% of the time these men have plans to leave once they get their papers before they even meet a Western woman.

.would you wanna stick around a complete selfish bitch (i wouldnt so i dont blame half these men).

Most of the time, Katy, it's the men who are selfish.

I think, if you r gonna b like that why mary a muslim if you dont respect them?

Most of these marriages are based on appearance or just so one or both partners can show the other one off. Others do it for their kids

And I see absolutely no reason why any of the women on here should respect a man who treats them poorly, Katy. And I've seen it on here from men all over the world. The proper response is to address the issue or simply leave him.

All men should know that if they treat a woman poorly, she will be inclined to put out.

I also think that every single regular poster on here understands that not all Moroccan men are bad, but as I have been saying, most Moroccan men will marry Moroccan women. It's a demographic fact and will probably never change.

I think your situation is very different because you volunteered in Morocco, so you really got a lot of that necessary in person experience and interacted with his family. A lot of women on here do not get that on a consistent basis.

The other positive thing is that you were on here with an open mind and spent a lot of time researching the culture and customs. I can tell by the tone of numerous posts on here, that pretty much never happens.

So, Katy, I'm not all that surprised that this has gotten to three years. As I keep telling married women on here, though, marriage and children are not the finish line. In fact, Katy, it can months, even years for the true nature of a bad relationship to reveal itself.

While your efforts are noteworthy and you do sound like a genuine person, the trouble is that it does not always pan out. There was a case in American where a man met a Russian woman off the internet. He even familiarized himself with the local Russian community to make her feel more comfortable. One of the issues was the age difference....she was much younger. So, she got there, learned English, got a car and then POOF! She was gone! Just like that. It was her plan all along. After three years of marriage, she just left.

The patience of liars and scammers is truly amazing, nothing like our fast-paced society in the West.

Also, you are right that some men are geninue. Okay. But then, Katy, you have the cultural differences to deal with. You say you are happy, yet you admit there are challenges, like the compromise/stalemate on religion. And then, it is an adjustment for him in London. Well, when I went to London for the first time when I was 19, I had to adjust as well. And going out to the pub? Yeah, I miss that too. But, I would be careful with that. Reader sash's man was supposedly going out with his friends too and he ended up cheating on her, again after three years of marriage.

Not all of the relationships need to be scams in order to end in a mess, it just adds more worry and complication to the mix and brings the percentage of successes down.

You also talk about time, and time is good, but really only if you had time to spend in person, and looking that you spend time volunteering in Morocco with his family and him I would therefore assume, that helped.

Over the internet, phone and mail---It really doesn't, Katy. There's really only so much you can get from a person communicating like that. Therein lies the difference.

Well, it was good to her from you again, Katy, but I really hope that you will consider what I have said. I've often heard that a marriage is a constant work in progress, but make sure you don't take any nonsense from him either.

-Luigi

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