Help, I don't know what he wants!

Submitted by Gambling (United Kingdom), Jun 21, 2009 at 06:11

Just got back from Egypt where I met a lovely young man, a supervisor in one of our hotel's restaurants. He introduced himself to my party on day one and although friendly, was never overpowering or overfriendly.

Each day we'd wander down to breakfast, lunch or dinner, sometimes as a whole party but sometimes in pairs or even alone and afterwards other members of my party always commented that he'd asked about me if I wasn't there and when would I be coming along. Then, when I walked in the room he would flash me the broadest smile ever and his eyes lit up. I always politely smiled back. When I went to get food from the buffet he always managed to come alongside me to check the food and have a few quick words before swiftly moving on.

Just a few days into the holiday, after my sister in law and I had lunched together, we left the restaurant and she went back to the hotel room. I set off to wander the couple hundred yards to the sister hotel's ATM when I became aware of someone near me. I turned to see him running to me and he asked where I was going. We walked a little way together but he seemed conscious that he was being watched (it was like this all the time, no matter where you were, staff were being watched constantly by their manager's so never really got time to chat with guests, unlike Turkey, Spain, Greece, etc). It didn't occur to me that this young man may have followed me specifically to talk to me or that he may have fancied me!! He said they'd changed his shifts and he'd be working 12 noon till 12 midnight from thereon.

From arrival at the hotel we felt that 99% of the staff came across as very ignorant, particularly towards women. They often ignored me and sis-in-law and served men right in front of us! Waiters would push through a door in front of us expecting us to get out of their way! One evening after waiting 20 mins at the outside bar for coffees we went to the inside bar where we got served immediately by the only other waiter who was polite (though he later turned out to have an ulterior motive - another story!). The list of ignorant activity goes on and on.

Because of this, although we started off tipping all the time, believing this gained you better service, we didn't in general as we spotted tips being taken from staff and put into managers pockets - and manager's, we found, were the most ignorant of the lot!

Over the next couple of weeks I noticed that the lovely young waiter went out of his way to talk to me - chit chat, nothing more - no mention of his dreams, future, romance, family, just what would I like to eat and drink and general stuff, but he always made a point of seeking me out for a quick chat away from his manager's and my party.

My brother had made an effort before going to Egypt to learn Arabic and could speak a few words, so lovely waiter said, "spend a month here with me and you will speak it very well". i suggested he came to England and talk us there, "I'll pay for you to come and you can stay with us", I said. He said he would have be able to come to England and seemed resigned to the fact.

At the end of the holiday I asked if I could meet him outside the restaurant at the end of his shift so that i might give him a tip that he would get to keep himself. We managed to do this and had a quick chat. He asked that I made a point of seeing him before leaving the next day and to bring my brother, and could he give me his email address. Shook hands again.

Next day, went for lunch. Got photo taken with him and he didn't even put his hand on me even though I put my arm around him. He slipped me his email address, said he'd put his mobile on too and asked when I'd be back in Egypt. My brother didn't say goodbye as he was too upset.

Got home at midnight. Next morning checked emails and there's one from him. Texted him to thank him for nice holiday, full stop. That afternoon, though he was working, got phone call from him, only couple of minutes. Later on got text too.

It's only been one week since getting home and now had five emails and three texts. We chat about anything and everything and how upset he was about my brother. Although I send my 'love' and he his, that's all.

I told him in my emails that we are moving to a big house in a few weeks to start up a small guest house and we would love him to come over and visit, maybe even work with us, but he says he cannot. I have looked into it a bit too and I don't see how he can get a visa even just for a holiday.

So, to my dilemna... he is a beautiful person; he doesn't even look like most Egyptian men! He isn't after money or a passport to England. He's not even after my blond haired daughter as I don't have one. What does he want - me? Surely not, I may look young for my age and yes, I'm blond but he must realise that I'm far too old for him. Apart from which he has never intimated anything like this other than on email calling me Shakira (which all Egyptian men did) and telling me how he misses me so much. There is no 'love' angle and definitely no sex involved.

What/where can this go?

---

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".