Very simliar situation - Pauline

Submitted by Willow NC (United States), Jun 23, 2009 at 20:25

As mentioned I was actually going out with a muslim guy in my city. For the most part I feel lucky for I think he realized I was educated on some of the scams.. Still not sure why he picked me out for 7 months. He always had his green card and always paid on dates. I am pretty sure there must have been a wife and kids although he denied it but being 39 based on age and coming from a conservative muslim family he has too.

I think the photo he showed me at the beginning of "some children" where his. I think now it was using me for sex . Even made the statement if I had met you 10 years ago I would have given you a child like I should have felt privileged But looking back within 6 weeks of dating he changed his phone number with no explanation other than he was tired of people bugging him. I feel bad now I suspect he disappeared on someone.

We had several conversation regarding culture etc. He even made the statement his US wife gave him life but also never had any children because he knew he wouldnt be with HER forever. He told me he was going over to Algeria for 3 months this summer because he had not been there in 7 years and going to buy something to live in because he was too old to stay with his brother and every year after he would be going yearly. My decision. That is how he put it. I told him I didnt understand what I was deciding. Maybe a subliminal message for I felt like he was trying to tell me something.

Based on the photo of the "children" I am suspecting the son was getting married or something and he was moving the family or maybe he was getting married for the first time who knows. I know he sent money to his "sister" but he had to wire it to his brother because she could not cash it? He even made phone call to the "sister" I told him I would give him privcy and he blew up saying "you always think I am talking to another woman". I made no comment sat beside him and at least understood children in the conversation. . I am lucky to have had a gut feeling and research the culture. after 7 months I was getting the not so frequent phone calls, my battery is dying and I left my cell phone at work which he stood me up. After losing it he told me "We are Different" I care for you and love you, but we are different and then thrown in - I never said I would marry you" (He had - which I told him way too soon). He was adamanet about being friends of which I did contact him several times and he always answered and even asked me out a few. I've decided he his benefiting . .

I was No Contact for 5 days got a random Hello Text I responded Hey and that has been it. Was he checking to see if I blocked him or I would respond? Now on 10 days. Its been really hard but let's face it. If I really meant anything to him he would make time. I know its over and really this behavior seems point to another person in the picture which is similiar to a cheating man regardless of religion or culture. He denies this...

I feel like he is trying to keep me at arms length in the event it doesnt work, He was very adamant about us remaining friends, but i've decided i'm done. He has gotten much easier with no contact. Seriously! Its hard and it hurts terribly. Thanks for listening. this board had been great support. I'm curious if anyone has any insight on buying property and if my gut is correct.

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