Thanks - I needed some perspective...

Submitted by Caution_to_the_wind (United States), Jul 15, 2009 at 22:06

I think it's kind of interesting that everyone who responded to my original post has a different opinion of what the "issue" is but they all have the same conclusion - this situation is bad news.

In response to Luigi's question: No, not at all! I couldn't care less about this guys feelings as I am certain he doesn't genuinely care about mine. Despite me joking about throwing my caution to the wind I am extremely cautious and CONCERNED about his plans - not because there is an emotional attachment, but more so for my general safety. In our conversations he has more than suggested that my visit (if I visit) is an opportunity for him to be immoral before Ramadan.

Since he is a licensed tour guide we have planned to visit the White and Black deserts, the Oases, Hurghada, and Aswan - which is time he would normally spend working. Although it's low season, I wouldn't expect him to spend his time with me and not be compensated - especially since we don't have a romantic relationship. I talk about being a student often so he has made efforts to make this trip as low-budget as possible by letting me stay in his friend's flat free of charge and promising that he'll cook dinner for us each night. Whether that happens or not has yet to be seen. So, even if he doesn't ask for any money (which I expect he will) I intend to pay him more than Egyptian market value for our adventures. Because seriously, despite the 'poor economy' any western currency is still favorable in countries like Egypt where what I would spend on a pair of shoes could cover someone's monthly living expenses.

I don't mind if he thinks he's getting one over on me because the money really isn't an issue. MY concern is more for my safety. Someone else mentioned more of what I was thinking - he may be setting me up to have someone rob me, steal my passport, or heaven forbid - kidnap me and hold me for ransom. My original post got cut off - but my concern comes from him telling me he got me a gift from a silver shop. I was/am worried that he might suggest an Orfi so that we can travel hassle-free, feel less guilty about our 'activities', but really use it to legally take my rights and fulfill whatever plans he may have. I saw it as something of a joke - but I am thinking that it could be more headache than I'm willing to bargain for. With that said - I am still undecided about visiting him while I'm in Egypt. I like to have fun...but I there is a limit to safe fun and I don't want to find out what it is. Not in Egypt.

The comments about hashish are well-founded but don't really apply to me. Unfortunately, I have diplomatic immunity and this wouldn't be the first time I've had a run in with the law in another country. With a few bills in my passport and the mention of the word 'embassy' - I've never spent more than 20 minutes in custody, and I surely wouldn't spend 3 years in prison. I say 'unfortunately' because it shouldn't be an excuse to have low morale and do what some people consider to be disrespectful to local cultures - and I am learning that as I grow up. However, if my passport gets stolen that could complicate things... I'm not emotionally scarred by my broken engagement - it was a relief! And I don't feel like tissue paper - but I think that is how others might view me in light of some of my behavior.

I don't consider ANYONE to be a total lowlife because I think we are all a product of our environment and life experiences - which is too often out of our control. He was born into a poor family in Egypt, who are we to judge? (Don't you judge me either! at least not based on a few posts)

Finally, to whoever made the comment about an Egyptian man never seriously marrying an African-American I have to disagree, and not because I am offended or because I am black. 1) I am far lighter in complexion than my "friend" and the majority of his friends who are from Luxor and Aswan. Your comment may hold a lot of truth for Lower Egyptians. In my personal experience, Egyptians from Cairo/Alexandria tend to be much more color conscious than those from the southern states. When I wear hijab, I blend in too well.

And 2) also from personal knowledge, there seems to be a growing trend of Egyptian man/African-American woman marriages coming through the embassy. I also personally know of numerous of these types of marriages forming communities in South Florida, Minneapolis, and Chicago. So far the marriages seem to be producing children and lasting longer than the typical green card arrangement. They could be legitimate or not, but you can't say never. So your comment is ill-informed...and maybe even ignorant. Not to mention, a serious marriage is not on our list of things to do. I've said more than enough though - and if I'm lucky, someone will stumble on this posting, alert my dad to my online ranting, and I won't be able to visit my friend even if I wanted to.

That's a joke. I really appreciate the reponses though - it gives me some much needed perspective. As always - Luigi speaks the truth, whether the ladies like it or not!

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