To Amber

Submitted by Stephanie (United States), Jul 24, 2009 at 00:09

Amber:

It's so easy to make new id's so really the reasons he gives seem lame. I know you have to learn for yourself but the man I knew lied a whole marriage. I really had no idea and the funny thing, at first I was certain he didn't lie to me and have a ton of ids. When I stayed in Egypt with him for two months he hardly ever even got on his computer the whole time. We spent all the time together and he never took his eyes off of me in that adoring way.

It was as any typical relationship only if I ever cried, he sometimes said a man can only take so much of his woman being sad and after awhile he will not want it anymore. Almost like he was threatening me. When I came back to the USA, he followed a few months after saying he had to be close to his heart (me). He really changed in how he treated me after this. I did wrong in his eyes leaving Egypt even though technically we weren't married. He said I disobeyed him and women aren't suppose to travel without their husbands.

He was abrupt with me, stern and cold to me except in sex. I was confused. I kept thinking it was the pressure of being in a new place. I didn't like how he was though. I had a little girl that was five years old. There was no way I was going to leave her so he should have understood why I returned to my country. He was like a little boy in his reasoning in his area. I had never seen this side of him the whole two years I had known him before. He was jealous of my daughter and he told me a man has a right to not to have to share his woman. He said even with his own children he'd feel the same. I suppose that is when the time was to come to take another wife so he never would have to give up anything, that is, when she got pregnant. He saw me with my child and one night he told me the whole time I was with him I never came to life as I did with my child. He was hurt, upset. I swear I loved him but I needed a man that loved everything of me and I just couldn't marry him knowing he may never have loved my child or worse yet, treated her badly.

I never stopped loving him but he changed and in the end he was asking me to be with other people sexually just to please him. I was certain then he never loved me. In the last year I am also sure he had many women. I am certain in the next years he will have many more. The worse thing is, I will always wonder if I meant anything to him. I was so inlove with him but I am my own person and I realize as much as I respect my husband and adore him....and follow him to an extent I also need to be a friend as well. I need him to treat me as his lover, friend, everything and to know that is what I am to him.

Never in my life could I imagine forever worried that I was never the only love of his life. When you start a relationship with a Muslim man, that is something you will always have to live with. I mean what if he grows tired or bored of you...it happens no matter how beautiful you are. An Egyptian man can be married to a fat woman and complain because of this, then he gets a beautiful woman and he can say, they simply don't relate in their mentality. He gives a million reasons for his actions.

Also a good thing to make note, if he has many id's he is hiding people he knows. Either he is hiding you from others or them from you. I know you don't wish to believe it but my guy had a myspace. I didn't know about other id's until the last time he came to see me. He was big on AOL which he had always only had hotmail and a yahoo before when we chatted so much. He also is big on Skype cause he said he talked with his family. Still I never used skype with him once he got to the USA. Once he got to the usa we hardly ever chatted online, we just talked on the telephone. I never ever had his aol id.

At first my picture was on his profile on Myspace...under it I was his love and at first he always spoke to me in Arab all the loving terms. I deleted my profile on Myspace during the time he was coming here from Egypt and the time he actually got to the USA. Once he was in the USA and we were even together, I made a new profile and asked him to add me. He refused, saying I was being insecure and saying don't I even know who I am, what I am to him? He even said he could make any profile he wanted and talk with anyone to make me feel guilty. He never would add me because he was wooing another woman on that particular profile and he wanted to hide it from me and hide me from her. The thing is, there is no way to know if he has all these different ids and really you shouldn't have to even feel concerned or distrust right? If you do now think what it will be like in the years to come because this is the best part lol

Anyway...Just my opinion

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