Irishgal

Submitted by My advice for what it is worth...Lisa,USA (United States), Aug 7, 2009 at 21:57

Irishgal, My question to you is...do you want to be covered and wear the Hijab or does he mean he wants you to dress respectful with westernized clothing but no chest revealing?...Wearing the Hijab, is this who you are? Your personality? Would you do this for yourself or just for your man?

I am married to a Moroccan who believes in his faith too very much, but he does not expect me to cover when I am there or around his family. He is jealous too to some degree but not overly.....His sisters do not cover in public and they pray the 5 times,etc with a strong Islam upbringing...the mom does cover at streets and in home too...hair always covered even when cleaning of the home. .I never asked my Mother-inlaw if this is her preference or her husbands..

anyway, with this said, jealousy is in all of us to some degree, but I wonder if this man of yours is over jealous because it sounds like a demand? He also really did not give you a straight answer on circumcision which means he will do as he pleases most likely and he will have final say in his country living there, I am afraid....In my relationship we talked for about 9 months before I made my first trip, waited another 5 months for the second trip before we married...with this said, you have to really talk and listen and test the man to see how he will interact with you about daily things that come up in our lives and you get a feel for how they would handle situations (without asking) and you in return learn some of their characteristics and morals and upbringing.

My concern with you is if you feel you both are moving way too fast? You have not been talking to him long enough to learn his traits and trustworthiness....You met in June, visited in Mid July...Its now just beginning of August! you are already talking babies and marriage and he is telling you what he expects. Is this not way too soon? I don't want to pass any judgement cause some will think I moved too fast as well but I gave it some time and he has passed tests with me and patience and understanding and not any controlling of me and even now as we have been married since April, he does not accept money from me and works to earn his own and we have not filed for his visa yet.

he realizes it is a struggle sometimes for a one income mother of three at home so he is doing all he can to help or pay for the paperwork to start and fees needed to start the procedure since i married there in Morocco. He is working all he can til the summer ends in about 10 days to earn all he can while the streets are busy with Moroccans who returns to enjoy the beach and family and the occassional tourists (meaning waking at 7am and closing shop at 2am pretty much when streets are clearing) just to help pay for visa... I have kids to consider and can't relocate to Morocco but we have discussed possibly in future returning to live if and when the time is right or we chose years from now, but we vow to try and spend every year or possibly two years to go back to marakech where we spent our honeymoon and celebrate.

My advice is give it sometime.....he may mean good, but wait several more months or til next year to decide after you learn more about him and if he has any anger issues trust issues, etc....its hard dating on-line and I feel you need more time to discover this...You are giving up everything to move there and its been just three months and two-three weeks of meeting? This is only my advice and opinion but I wish you well and I hope the best for you....There are good men there but give it a little more time to be 100% sure. If he truly loves you for yourself he will have patience and understanding and will wait ever how long it takes, believe me...if not, his heart was not in the right place to begin with. My other question is, if you are here having to ASK about this man, you are already unsure about his character in some way..You are asking for advice from ones who do not know him, so this is good sign you know you need more time to know him and his true self.

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