I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN!

Submitted by jasmin (France), Aug 14, 2009 at 05:50

Thanks for replying so quickly, I think they all have the same technique, he was very calm too depending on the situation and wouldn't reassure me, so eventually you'd think maybe i am exagerating, and start to doubt yourself. They are such good actors saying only what you want to hear; they could all win oscars. Did he change his voice too? like on the phone when he did eventually anwser, he would whisper so you could barely hear him and change his tonality, what a phyco! but that was all part of the game. I'm sure alot of the time nothing was going on, just to make you feel bad and needy. Mine didn't ask me to marry him straight away untill 2 months before he was illegal because he knew his chance was coming to an end. He also said ,"I didn't ask you to marry me sooner because i never ever want to hear you say , "thanks to me you were allowed to stay here", because its not at all the case". Even if I wanted too, i didn't completley trust him enough yet , but still wanted it to work out and hoped it would get better . Like you said , like an addiction your mind is racing and you need to see him. But when i refused to marry him, he still hung around but when he became a clandestin, it got complicated. I found out that even if i wanted to marry him now i couldn't as i'm not the nationality of where i'm living. So all that for nothing, we had arranged to move in together again, but i had heard about the risks for lodging people without papers, like 5 years of prison and a heavy fine and everybody warned me off. Anyway, he moved in without his belongings, as i didn't want him too. just in case. It didn't last long as we argued alot, the fact that he couldn't bring his belongings and i was working ten hour shifts, he wasn't working had lost his job and basically he didn't lift a finger, he was in deep depression. I wasn't very understanding but you could imagine the stress of it all and i didn't have much money either. So in the end we broke up, After reflexion , i wished i had have been more supportive towards him and less ratty , he didn't need that. Maybe he did love me, I think he had feelings for me but after the arguments etc.. He is still in the country waiting to see if he wins the case to stay? Do you think its possible or will he get expulsed? I still have feelings for him and wish we could get back together!

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