to jasmine

Submitted by life is beautiful (Ireland), Aug 26, 2009 at 18:13

Jasmine,

I took the time to read some of your postings and i want to ask you where are you from?and where he was from?not that this makes any difference just i wanted to have more clear picture of what i am reading.

You are a wise mature woman and you are free of this type of pain.I think that there is passion and addiction with these people...they have these eyes that make us crazy...but i have to say...i was never so jealous,poccesive person..i became all these...insecure.jealous...feeling terrible for my self...i was looking any beautiful woman on the street and i was thinking that one of them might sleep with my man....we went to egypt for holidays and he was staring everysingle woman on front of me because all of them were muslims....no future my friend...rarely....i started to think about going back to my country for the last 2 years from my last posting you see that i am leavinf FREE in 2 months time far from issues,unanswered issues for my life,pain,insecurites,no plans,no dreams...i wake and i love my self...i feel leaving uk a bit old but i live my life and now i have the answers,i know what i want and i am telling you better alone and single than to be in a CANCEROUS relationhsip...million times to be single and sleep with peace in your mind...all the time i remember my self trying to figure out his movements what is behind all the time i was investigator inside my own flat...no thank you and maybe all these was part of the game and maybe they do not do so many things as we think....but i suffer a lot...the last 2 years the things are better....and better...but i was addicted i was blind...after 8 years i wake up and i took the life in my hand...he could not believe that i resigned my job and i am going back to my routes..and then he offered me to stay with him and to provide me accomodation and all that..but it was too late..for 8 years i was trying to build something with him a common life but i was living in my place and he in his place...he was avoiding all these plans..i was sick opening conversations about our future..and the answer i was getting was....only if you accept to have muslim kids...like that was only the issue...so ironic and narrow minded...like if i was saying yes to muslim kids....everythign would change automatically....we had issues even without kids you imagine to have kids....

I have other 2 months with him...it is really painful because we still together like we are waiting our death...but we choose to not seperate before..now it is too late.,.but i doubt it that i will see him or something after my departure...the last week actually he told me that it will be better to not see eachother..i freaked out a bit but after couple of minutes i realise that i am leaving him and the whole uk for a new life of course he has the right to choose to not see me again but as a woman always you hope...but after one week he told me that he wants to take some days off from his job and to come with me the day i am leaving uk and then i became strong and i said NO this is my new life and i will not destroy it in my own home land....and i said to him no.....only with my rules now....and i told him...my rules..and he did not again answer...this story will fed away with the time....we are not seperated yet i assume for the first few weeks months cause of the routine we will contact eachother and after it will be less and less and i am sure he cannot be alone which means that my replacement as a woman will come fast in his arms..but i do not care....i have made my decisions and i am ready for everything...i am leaving and he has any right to do wherever he wants at least i will be miles away and i will not have any news.....i needed to leave uk cause of this relationhsip and i wanted to be beside family and friends for long time now but he is the biggest reason leaving uk otherwise i would be 50 hugging around like a student in 2 different houses and after of course he would leave me as he would be ready to have a family with a young woman and more likely from his coutry.

Thanks again for your time..looking forward to hear more from you

life goes on and we need to enjoy.....i am happy with my decision

Take Care

kisses xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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