to Confused in UK

Submitted by Lisa (United States), Aug 28, 2009 at 17:43

Confused, He has an option to marry her or not at his choice and if he truly loves you and only you, he would not marry her and ask you to be the second wife.....

I am married to a Muslim man but from Morocco and I think Egypt might not be as laid back or westernized from my reading experience here, not sure, but comparing him to my husband, and I am sure there are still arranged marriages in his city and country as well, He makes his own decisions but he is 33. His mom (before meeting me) did come to him twice several months apart and asked his opinion and let him know a pharmacist COUSIN wanted to marry him. Her mom came to my husband's mom with this request not the cousin. ( the cousin had been previously married and divorced)... He flatly told them no that he had met someone from USA and possibly will marry me which we did several months later and on the second trip after meeting his family. I know family can put pressure on their children but the man still has his FINAL say. He cries to you and plays on your sympathy because he wants you and maybe is ok with this other marriage too for whatever reasons either selfishness, what he might gain from both the relationship, or making his family happy.

I think it is selfish to want two wives. I know my husband's sisters will not allow their husbands to take two wifes even though their dad has had two wives for many years and they grew up in this situation. Keep in mind too, he must show he can provide equally provisions for BOTH wifes if you chose to ignore first wife and marry him anyways......are you going to help support her by taking from your nest-egg you two build together or what he gets from you & gives to her? He should not accept or take money from you as well so don't send any! My husband of 5 months still wants to think what i have is MINE and my money is MINE, and I have told him several times when he gets here we build our lives together and it will include having a joint bank account and I am not a Moroccan woman who rather keep everything separate and play the mine and yours game.

Don't pursue this relationship any further. I see only heart-ache for you!! Seems you are asking our opinions (from strangers) if its ok for you to be second wife cause you love him this much. His love for you is not STRONG if he can go ahead with this arranged marriage...Let him go if he does! If he choses this life, LET HIM LIVE IT!! .......Don't destroy this other innocent woman's chance at happiness as well. Its not right. On this blog, so many women complain about being scammed and mistreated, and most the time they see it coming and like you, you are wanting to ignore it and get involved deeper into something you know will not make you happy in the end. He will marry her and she becomes FIRST wife, This means she will have to give him permision and you are willing to take his word she has and will? What if he marries her and keeps you in Uk thinking he is coming and it may be for you to support him or him to bring his FIRST wife to UK after so many years once he is citizen? Don't get caught up in this. Let him have her!! I don't see any good that will come out of it for ALL involved. Continuie reading these stories and BE SMART and not NAIVE!

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