Reply to confused

Submitted by Hannah (United Kingdom), Aug 28, 2009 at 19:55

Well first of all I will say to you that if his family have gone to the lengths of finding him a wife and are not happy to accept you and his wishes then if i was you then I would take it away as a good memory and get on with your life. This will mean cutting all contact so allow yourself to move on. Many do marry without love in fact a large amount do its a common thing in Egypt and in the muslim culture, this is a normal arrangement and they generally like to make the family happy and if they say they will not talk with him again he will marry this girl as family is very important there and there honour is even more so important they would not like people outside there home unit to know that there is a problem.

Muslim men can have 4 wives as long as he can provide for each wife, does he have a good job to be able to do this?? I would also say you met him once and have not even been introduced to the family which is a big step for a egyptian male to take a western women home to his family. You will never know the real him until you have been around him with his family, so I would say you would be crazy to even take this relationship any further, and if he ever mentions a ofi marriage run as quick as you can this is worth nothing and you have no rights.

If you read my post I have had a long emotional 15 months with my now ex partner who's family were very accepting of me and wanted us to marry, I have spent alot of time with them and getting to know them all.

There are alot of bad men that will play this card with you to make you go and rush in to something without thinking its a kinda thing where if you don't do something you will loose them, but there are genuine Egyptian men out there. I am not saying that he is playing you but you do need to accept he will marry this girl I just hope he is not lying to you. Would you really want to be a 2nd wife?? You have no idea what the culture and religious obilgations are, I am a muslim convert so completely aware of my duties as a wife and I would never allow my husband to take a 2nd wife maybe because I have been brought up in the UK in western life but I would not want another women involved in my marriage.

Please be careful and I am sure you are a smart girl use your head you will find a nice man in time.

I wish you the best

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