Here's to you: "Amy"

Submitted by Stephanie (United States), Sep 3, 2009 at 10:01

I've taken this area to relay a message because I know it's a wellknown site. Ignoring her seems to pee her off even more. So I've decided to make this strictly for her reading. A stranger whom I do not know on the other side of the U.S.A. writes all over her pages calling me a bitch and whore because a man she cares has always loved me. Which of course, I could never help. What I really want this woman to know is, I am sorry he doesn't love you as you wish him to. I know it must break your heart and the odd thing is, I do feel for you. I am sorry after all this time, you couldn't make him see who you really are and if he does, well sometimes people look for certain things in others the one just can't offer. I know you thought if I was out of the picture he'd fall into your arms. The truth is, people can't help who they love. Most likely he will fall into someone else's arms when I am not around because you can never force love. I remember you writing on your Myspace once that you had finally won and he was still with me at the time. For me it was never a battle between you and I. Either the man loves me or he doesn't and I can't help that. You were never an issue with me or some kind of competition. I won't be with any man that would ever put me in that situation where I felt like I was competing for his affection. No man is worth that and especially not him and no man is good enough for me that would ever do such an asinine thing. We both know He will fight for what he truly wants and you will fight for what you want and then in the end where will you be? Will he finally just automatically think you are his world even though he has had plenty of time to figure that out...or...will he finally reach his breaking point and hate you for being so obsessive and start blaming you for what he has ultimately lost? Who knows. I assure you, I have taken my steps back and looked at the whole scenario and I chose another way of life completely far away from him. I don't care for the man you so desperately want any more. Is that clear? Even if he says he loves me, I don't care any more.

I never had to hack into anything as you say. This man you love had showed me some of your emails before when we resided together and when I had Myspace, I was well aware when you were just a friend. I had remembered your Id from you page on Myspace. By the way, at one point I even had his password to his accounts because he gave them to me for us to keep contact. I never had to ever hack. I never was so obsessed with doing crazy things to figure anything out. Any normal person, when they find out years of their life had not been as it seemed, and the one that said every day he adored her and loved her, well I suppose anyone would wonder to some degree how the hell...I couldn't help it. Even if he was afraid of losing me, no one should have to learn in the heat of anger what I did. It caused a bit of curiosity but I don't think I intruded on your life as you seem to insinuate by just looking at your page. After all I never say a thing to you or do anything. But hacking you? really I don't know why you seem to have all that in your head. Obviously someone else is either bothering or...you are making it up...or you are doing it yourself to gain attention. It's not hard to look up things on the Internet but I have never hacked any one. Another thing, I definitely would never want to be you. Honestly, after reading all I have to say this should be very clear.

Personally, I think it would suck to be so desperate for someone that didn't feel the same. Also it's a great waste of time and life is way too short to just waste. There is a beautiful man out there that would give you his whole heart, give you the sex and not just a platonic relationship and you'd know he was sincere. The man you want, He might love you as a friend but even if he stayed around acting the role because he was scared or even at times he felt sad he caused you pain, you would still know he'd have a real love on the side and you would still just be the good friend. I know him and he always reaches a breaking point when he has had enough. It will come to that with you too. People can only take so much. Deep down you know you will never ever be able to trust him and what kind of life is that? It doesn't mean he's bad since he isnt happy with you because he can't help that. You can't help it either.

I have no reasons to want to cause you pain. I am just telling you to open your eyes. I won't splatter hateful things about you or bad name calling all over my sites referring to you as you have done to me. I do want you to know some things. Tell me, with your power right now, he does live in a bit of fear of what he thinks you can do. He does from me too but the only time I will ever make trouble is if I realize his being here effects me. If he lays low and doesn't mess with my life in anyway we shall do just fine. The truth is, he has more to worry about with you. If you get so upset that what you expected to happen never happens just remember if you do anything to him, you both will get into trouble. I hope you are intelligent enough to realize that. With your son, I wouldn't ever take that risk. Also, I was allowed to read an email showing me you offering him to marry him for the greencard as friends so you can't argue if things go wrong that you just never knew he was that way. I would testify you were full aware of it all. Right now he worries what you could do so he tries to appease you but eventually that will change. Deep down you will always know everything you get, if he talks to you, acknowledges you, even gives you the light of day, it has not been from the heart. To me, I couldn't bear that thought, to know nothing was ever real, yet maybe you are just happy to have what you can get?

If he chooses to call me it really shouldn't matter and from what I gathered during the last months you have been really concerned if we have contact. Also, I'm a big girl and he is a big boy. Whatever he does he will do whether you act like a saint to him or an evil witch. He will just hide it and do it behind your back like a child if you make trouble...and then lie to you while he's doing it. Is that really how you want it? At some point you surely understand no one can be made to love you. As for me, I don't play in the picture any more and not because you forced me out or there were no feelings on our part. For me it is my choice. It's because I don't want any part of this situation any more or have to even deal with you either. I will never know if what he tells me is true or lies which for me is sad. I will never trust him again or see him as a sincere person. I know that in itself causes him pain. When he tries to tell me all you ever were was just a friend, this great friend, after he threw you in my face...I will never look at him as I used to. There is no changing that and he has to bear that. He knows what we shared...yet what is done is done. It's how I was treated during the time that led up to what he chose from trying desperately to keep all the lies from me and after, even though there might be some emotions there and memories, I know for a fact I could never go back. I choose to walk away. I could never live like that so I have moved on and he needs to...and you need to too. I will never call you names or say derogatory remarks towards you but I think I have a right to say what I feel. I sit back and listen to you rant and rave all the time. Crying over loving someone that doesn't love you or...assume I am some whore because he had chosen me over you. It's all ...bullsh*it.

I wish you well in your life and I hope some day in your life you do find your real love. I suppose the man I speak about will find his life too and eventually we will all know where our proper places are. For now I am done caring about anything you have to say anymore and this is to let you know. I was with him long before you ever came into the picture. Most people would think you would be the bad one in this situation so I never understood how you just sat back and called me a whore simply because he didn't love you. Very strange.

I don't blame you by the way, for the situation. I do blame him. It wasn't a situation either one of us should have had to be in and if he had been a loving person he wouldn't have put either one of us through this. There shouldn't have been a question of who was the lover and who was the friend and the respect should have been to all parties involved. You came in, wanted what you couldn't have but could give him something he desperately needed, the greencard. Me, I was his girlfriend but not ready to totally commit because I just wasn't ready and I shouldn't have been forced to marry quickly just because he needed to stay here. Usually it's not such an issue in a normal relationship to get married but our time limit was within the three months he cames into the U.S. A... Nothing was normal but somehow are relationship continued. So he kept me, used you...got what he needed and lied to us both I suppose, although he said you always knew upfront you were just his friend and the situation. Who knows. Who can believe anyone or anything? In the end, none of it should have happened. Please, in the utmost sense of the word, take care. ...

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".