Thank you my friend

Submitted by JASMINE (France), Sep 5, 2009 at 10:00

Hello again!

Nice to hear from you, and being assertive with me. Your story is a bit different to mine but they have the same behaviour patterns. The fact that he became illegal but before that he was working but living with an arab friend but his friend was always getting on his nerves he would have people round until the early hours , smoking hash and he couldn't sleep because his bed was the couche in the lounge and was very tired going to work.

Anyway before that he had moved in with me and he was nice in the begining until he had alot of mood swings, about anything at all. He never helped out with anything and it was like a hotel for him he would sleep in late and my daily routine started to become his routine. If i made any comments on his routine he would shout until he drained me before going to work and i would feel upset and cry before going in to work. Appart from that there were good times but we argued alot when he played his charming tricks when we went out..

The land lord told me that i had to leave before the end of august, so i told him to take his suitcase to his brothers he wasn't too happy but i said until we find a solution. His brother went on holiday that month so he went to his brothers too. He started to become distant and didn't anwser the phone as much and drove me insane.. but he just wanted to be on his own as he had a free gaf( house) for the month. We saw eachother a couple of times and i went to see him. Then one weekend he said im going to see a friend i haven't seen in years im going out tonight we'll see eachother tomorrow. I was suspious but had to accept, if it was any other guy you wouldn't suspect anything really but with him you had to.

That night i went out with my friend and got very drunk and tried to forget what he was doing. The next day i called him in the afternoon and he didn't answer his phone a few times. I knew something was up, so that night i called to his brothers and nothing he didn't anwser the door. So the next day i called him at his work and he didn't answer then i called him with a friends phone and he answered with a charming voice thinking it was someone else...when he heard my voice he went back to his hard voice o how are you? did you have a good weekend... bla bla!! I said lets meet tonight he said ok and then changed his mind but i went to see him anyway.

To cut a long story short when was taking a shower i checked his mobile and a girl a german girl , had texted him to go and see an exposition on sunday and he replyed wait for me there i'm on my way. Thats why he didn't answer on sunday, he had met her saturday night but she asked him to go to the exposition the next day. I confronted him that night and told him i checked his text and know what he was up too. He said not much to make me angry and he said it was just a friendly outing and wished it had have been more like that with me. i said of course its always more exciting in the begining of any relationship i was so hurt and went to my mums, a two hour journey by train. He tried to call me i didn't answer and when i did he said his mum was there and his sister in law and hoped i had forgotten about what happened..

When i came back he was distant again and didn't once introduce me to his mum and said his sister in law was a witch who did some witches spells on him to get rid of him and cut triangles out of his clothes so he was afraid she would harm me too. Whatever i think he had a scew loose in his head. ANYWAY my friend needed a flat mate so i made the arrangments to move in with her. On the last day of being at my flat he came round thinking he could worm his way back in after being silent and weird with me for the whole month and excluding me from his family, the only person he wanted me to meet was his sister but i never did in the end. In the begining of the relationship he had invited me to his sisters wedding in marocco but i couldn't was working. I found out from him after three years of mariage her husband doesn't want to have children with her and shes depressed, and they are two maroccans. So when he saw that i had moved all my stuff out and was leaving he broke down crying saying where will i go now? So he had to go back to his brothers and his brother wasn't pleased while the mum was there on holiday the two brothers had an argument and he threw him out and it was ramadan, how awful. But i don't know what went on between them they never got on.

So thats when he moved in with his friend.. anyway he kept in touch with me e-mailing me from work and we met up a few times because i missed him. After 6 months of seeing eachother he wasn't happy at his friends and wanted to live with me again he said i miss our lives together etc etc....So i found a place and thats when he became clandestin and i got scared..He thought i didn't want him well if youv're read the posts in august you can read the rest....

I was heartbroken and felt so guilty because his firend didn't want him anymore and he had a girlfriend living with him, but he had to go back tto his brothers, i wanted him to stay but he wouldn't.. When i found the site he had been on 2 weeks ago, the week and the date that he left he wrote a message up a relaxing afternoon in paris with his mobile number. So he was obiously desperate to find someone to put him up and still is because hes on there day and night.......... he could have stayed with me but didn't give it a chance.

Now,I have an addiction of checking if hes on line i can't stop myself .......... i just can't STOP.

I think if he goes back to his country i will feel better maybe....

Its been 5 months now but we saw eachother a few times and if u read my post about the last meeting it was not nice.. But hes everywhere i go........

I met other guys but never hit it off, it just isin't the same as him.

For you i don't think its a good idea if he comes to italy at christmas because like you said he will be in your territory and you need to be completly free from him and start something new without old attachments. You have made your decision and you know it won't work in alot of areas his religion and muslim children is not what you want. So why see him at christmas that will just hurt you even more cut off with him. Its funny i'm telling you that and i can't cut off completley yet... So its hard but we've got to pull through this....

Keep in touch!

Talk to you soon!

xxxxoooo

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