To Khris---things to consider about marriage to Turkish man

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Sep 15, 2009 at 13:54

Hi Khris

I take it from the tone of your post that you see this man frequently in person.

Khris, the reality is that you do not know this man inside and out even if you have spent "every single second" with him. You are still in what most people would call the "honeymoon" phase of the relationship where everything seems perfect

Not all Turkish men are bad, you say? You are quite correct. However, there are two problems with that line of thinking---

1) Nearly every woman like yourself who has posted their story on here wants to believe to some degree that their relationship is somehow different.

2) Most Turkish men will marry Turkish women.

The key warning signs here are:

1. Quick marriage. You say you want it to. But, it's still a quick marriage. The reason why scammers do this is very simple---people who are spontaneous and do things quickly do not have time---or take the time---to process what is really going on and they are much more likely to buy into something.

I don't think you've really even begun to understand this man and what he is capable of. Even in the honeymoon stage, the idea of a visa worries you to a point where you are asking people over the internet you've never met and probably never will meet about advice on making a life-changing decision.

If you truly were ready for marriage, you would not need third party confirmation to go ahead with this. It is very clear that you do not completely trust this man, and I, for one, do not blame you in the least. How could you? You have only known him for a few months and he's acting shady with this visa request, and make no mistake, Khris, that is what it is, a request, a plea for you to marry him so he can have it. He won't outright say "Khris marry me so I can have a visa" but he will make certain to take advantage of your attraction to him in order to make you feel like you have to.

2. His apparent obsession with a visa. Really, Khris, there is no way around this. It's a classic sign of a visa scam.

Khris, I can understand why you are attracted to this man. I'm sure he's charming and says all the right things and treats you well, and you may be thinking "how could this man turn out to be bad?"

The trouble is, Khris, pretty much all skilled scammers are going to put on a decent front. If you were to meet a Nigerian lotto scammers, for instance, you would them wearing suits and ties, not traditional African garb.

As far as visa scammers go, they overall tend to be more aggressive in their quest. If they know that you are invested in a relationship, and clearly you are, they can go even as far to threaten to end the relationship if they do not get what they want. This sort of take-away is actually another sales trick.

The reality is, Khris, that many American citizens marry people from abroad only to have them do a complete 180 in the days, months---or even years into a marriage. Make no mistake, Khris, even as you ask for success stories that marriage and children are by no means the finish line, and if you read the stories posted on here in the last couple of years, you'll see that clearly.

Khris, most of us have been put up with liars, scammers and cheaters and I would rather not see you get hurt from this.

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