yes, just like a smoke.

Submitted by Amber Rose (Philippines), Sep 17, 2009 at 20:18

Hi Shelly,

It is so funny how we all experience the same thing. They are a puzzle and to figure them out is totally frustrating. My Egyptian man sometimes disappeared for days / weeks and then came back with a very lame excuse. But throughout those times that he disappeared, I never called him or left an offline message asking on where the hell he is! He doesn't even care if I am worried, so I will not give him also the privilege of knowing how I feel.

Just last time, he disappeared again for almost 3 weeks. When he was online again, I ignored him for days. I managed to control my desire answering his messages. Days went on and finally I responded. What I hated most is him acting all innocent about what happened. You don't know that you vanished from the face of the earth and you expect me to accept you with open arms again? That's it! I had my moment and we quarreled. I said, I don't know what it is that you really want from me but I want this relationship to end.

Then he asked why you are mad at me? What have I done wrong? I said, if you really love me you will not disappear just like that. He said, babe my office is in the desert there is no net nearby and during those times there is no internet connection in my workplace. And why you did not call or text me? He said, there is something wrong with my phone etcetera, etcetera. He added that he did not even see or call his family. How come? It's Ramadan? I said you expect me to believe all that? I am not stupid. Even you are in the prison, you could make a way to contact me if you really love me. He said babe, just give me one last chance and it won't happen again.

Well right now, he's consistent in informing me where he is. Actually it is fine if he disappeared for 100 years, at least I have an idea of what's going on. Not sit in my computer and wonder. It's the worst feeling ever – being clueless. Last wrong move and I am out. He knows this rule and if ever he committed the same mistake, I will also disappear like a smoke and he will never hear from me again.

And for you Shelly, give him an ultimatum. Lay down your rules. If he could not follow through, leave him and don't turn back. Good Luck!

Love,

Amber Rose

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