To khris...my final comment for now

Submitted by Allieh (United Kingdom), Sep 23, 2009 at 21:17

Khris your original post was entitled 'is he for real?' but then you went on to ask for 'success stories'. We don't know of any and we personally haven't had one. The only woman that I know whose marriage lasted more than 10 years is now divorced as she couldn't take all the affairs and the bad behaviour. They have 2 kids. Her husband is from Istanbul and she really thinks now he just wanted a UK visa. Oh and guess what? he's now remarried to a TURKISH woman. Every other person I know that has married a Turk hasn't lasted past 3 or 4 years, usually because they cheat on them, only wanted a visa or beat them, or more commonly all 3.

We all told you what we thought based on what you have told us, that no we don't think he is for real but clearly you are on this blog not to listen to advice or wisdom , but to argue the point and to get upset when you don't hear that which you want to hear.

These women, and I count myself in along with them, are not bitter in the least but they are experienced in how these relationships pan out and yes they have been hurt but they are also wiser now and don't wish to see others falling into the same traps. If you don't want to glean from their wisdom, then fair enough, but I suggest really that you go and read the replies again and try to understand what we are saying to you. You can't trust anything this man says because HE WANTS A VISA. I hope that is clear enough and that you genuinely stop to think why we are saying this to you. We don't know you and have nothing to gain by telling you bad things about your relationship the only motivation is to stop you getting hurt. If you can't see it coming then ok, but try to. If you need to come back later then please do so, don't feel you won't get a good reception here, you most certainly will. But I'm inclined to agree with Isis when she said you're not really in a frame of mind to listen as you're too infatuated right now. I was the same way with my ex and stubbornly pressed on and wouldn't listen to good advice, even when one of his exes told me not to trust him I chose to believe him and ignore her. We always think we're different or that he won't do that to me.

Now I'm out the other side, 4 months pregnant and my ex showed his true face. He is not unique but like many, many Turkish men: he wanted sex and further down the line, marriage for a visa. He would have waited years if it meant getting what he wanted. Now that these things have been denied him he has dropped me and our unborn baby as if we were pig meat in his hands. He did not show that face to me in the beginning OBVIOUSLY or I'd never have fallen for him, as I am not an idiot and he knows it.....just like your guy knows you are not an idiot. I just hope for you that when you are ready to hear the truth its not too late.

I wish you well. Allie x

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