Egyptian Boyfriend Seems Like a Good One, But I Don't Know

Submitted by AAM (South Korea), Oct 3, 2009 at 07:57

Hello Everyone,

I apologize in advance for the long post but I need your opinions on my relationship.

I'm a 26 year old American female working in South Korea. In August of this year I went shopping one day and met a 39 year old Egyptian man. He ended up showing me around town as I was new there and helping me establish my phone service which is a process I was unfamiliar with.

He's a personal trainer in Korea and has lived there for around 13 years. He told me married an American a year or so ago but filed for divorce because they were having issues and she decided to relocate to Germany for her job. He says they dated for 3 months and were intimate. he felt guilty about doing this because he's a Muslim so they decided to get married. The marriage lasted for 6 months. He said he filed for divorce and sent his wife the papers but she has not returned. He says now that he's met me he'll be going to Germany to try to finalize the divorce so there will be no hinderance to our relationship. He said he wants to be honest with me because he is serious about me and wants marriage once we get to know eachother.

We were intimate a few times and had a lapse in judgement which resulted in my pregnancy. I told him I was pregnant and he said he loves me and wants to be with me and is with me no matter what and wants to marry me. During the pregnancy he was very attentive and called everyday. I then found out I had a blighted ovum which is a miscarriage so I dodged a bullet in that regard.

Since the miscarriage I noticed he's less affectionate in public and not as interested in sex, but I digress.

So now he has returned to Egypt saying he misses his family as he has not seen them in years and his mother is sick. Furthermore, he overstayed in Korea so its up in the air on whether he will be allowed to return. Apparently he came once in his real name, overstayed and was banned from returning until 2010. He then came in a fake name and overstayed. While he is in Egypt he wants me to call the Korean immigration office to check his status (in his real name) to see if he'll be allowed back in the country, claiming we met elsewhere and want to get married.

If he cant return we discussed going to maybe Japan of the United Arab Emirates (I planned to go there in a year anyway because I teach English and plan to relocate to one of those places within the next year or so.)

Also, he's Muslim. When we first met he said its OK for Muslims to marry Christians or Jews but now he says he'll want me to eventually convert to Islam when we get married. He doesnt want me to eat pork or drink alchol and wants me to start learning about Islam. I told him I was born a Christian and will die a christian and will not convert to Islam. I asked him if he was willing to accept that and he said no.

He likes to change the subject when we talk about these serious issues. I believe they can make or break the relationship but he doesnt want to tackle them. Also, he talks endlessly about his culture and religion but shows no interest in learning about me or mine. I'm thinking he either expects me to fully adopt his customs and abandon mine or volunteer information about myself like he does about himeself.

Based on what I've written, he seems to be genuine and I really dont see what he can gain by being in a relationship with me. Also, he says he doesnt like the US and has no interest in going there (I dont plan on retuning either.) I have my concerns about living in an Arab country if we get married due to the restrictions on women. He says we can live anywhere I want it doesnt matter. He seems to be a good man but time will tell if thats truly the case.

I wonder, however, why:

1- How he could have fallen for me this quickly. What's his agenda? I feel like he's sincere but its hard for me to let my guard down to to the experiences I've read here and on the internet.

2- Why the hell dont these men seek Arab Muslim women if they want Muslim wives? Why require me to convert when he can just find a Muslim woman?

What do you all think about this relationship? Do you see any red flags that I may have overlooked?

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