Secrets or Privacy?

Submitted by My advice to you Julie (United States), Oct 16, 2009 at 20:49

Julie, Majority of Moroccans can speak French. Its very common especially in the younger generation and now the schools are teaching British and American English, the BASIC fundamentals. When I went on my Moroccan trips to see my husband, his 12 yr old nephew and younger niece of about 8 had fun with me allowing me to read to them in their English exercise work book teaching me the Moroccan terms for our fruit, etc...... Of course they were much better with our English than I was with their Moroccan terms. Also it is required to take an extra languish course in their University studies. My husband had to go a couple times a week for two years of his 6 years of study at his University and luckily for us he took English cause he was a big fan of English music and wanted to know lyrics.

Julie, your Fiance lives in your city and has for 9 years. Is he a permanent resident or is he there on some temporary visa? I would think permanent or green card after 9 years. If this is the case, he doesn't want a visa. What would he be secretive about if he is there to live on legal grounds? You are freshly engaged after 9 months of daily contact which you say he has been very good to you. You really didn't give enough details for others or myself to give good sound advice. What do you think if anything he is hidden and have you asked him? I can tell you that Moroccans do not like to share every details of their lives and even with immediate family members. Keep in mind, they are born and raised to never tell others EVERYTHING about their life. This could possibly be his case. I think some of this is their culture. For example, my husbands mom taught him to not share things with everyone and he says because sometimes even eyes CAN KILL something that is good and you love...His thoughts are if you even place photos on-line, anyone can take them or the information and do harm to others. He says why does everyone need to know about our lives as long as we are happy....He feels certain things should be kept private. Like his family pictures, I set my albums on myspace to private so not just anyone can go see his family enjoying our wedding party. I can display our pictures together of course but not family. His sister's husband was upset after googling our last name and he saw his wife and himself on a public site "MY SITE" and his wife was enjoying herself dancing in the family home to Arabic music at our marriage celebration. To Muslims, it is PRIVATE moments not to be shared with all and he was very upset and was upset with his wife too cause I had put them there to share. She had no control over me displaying them. He is jealous and didn't want any other man looking at his wife in those moments of dancing innocently. Their culture is different and is more private. Doesn't necessarily mean he may be hiding anything from you. My husband doesn't openly just ramble or talk about his past or my past as well. He feels why discuss it to maybe cause grief or put problems in relationships. You can see our little things can be very Private to them.

I think you need to work on yourself cause you have not "LET GO" of your past relationship issues.
You don't need to bring this insecurities into this new relationship cause if so, you will kill it with all your doubt and if you need to ask advice here from strangers, you will only let YOURSELF destroy this relationship than can be a beautiful one too. Love with eyes wide open, but don't always try and FIND something that may just not be there!....Good luck and I wish you well and much happiness.

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