Dear Mary--Advice on Afghanistan man

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Oct 28, 2009 at 20:49

Hi there Mary

First of all, Mary, let me just point that if things were going that well with you too, I doubt you would need third-party advice from the internet.

Though I, for one, don't blame you at all for coming here.

Mary, the thing about internet romance is that real, matrimonial love cannot occur just by over the internet. It's impossible to have matrimonial love for someone you have never met. You are obviously very unsure about this. Assuming this man is being completely honest with you (a rare trait to happen over the internet), you are getting maybe 30% of the communication from him that you would on a real date. Listen, you cannot feel his touch, gaze into his eyes or mirror his movements. Even with a webcam, there is still the computer barrier and sometimes a timing delay.

In addition to all that, you've only been talking for a month. Even if you were dating in real life, a month is way to soon to talk about marriage. Anytime under any circumstances a quick marriage is proposed, it's a recipe for total disaster.

Mary, I can understand why you are attracted this man. I'm sure he is very considerate, nice, charming--all those things that you may have looked for in Canadian guy and have not been able to find. I don't see how anyone could blame you for enjoying talking to this man.

The problem is, Mary, any relationship starts out good. If it did not, there really would not be a relationship, would there?

You say you've read stories on here. Surely, Mary, you've noticed on here how it all starts off nice with words like "baby, I love you" and "don't listen to them".

I've heard all these things and sayings like that before, even from women I used to date.

For one thing, it's no secret that Afghanistan is a war zone. It has been for decades and it's not going to change anytime soon.

On the visa: He does not have to be after a visa in order this to be a disaster. He mentions India or the UAE--those are two very different places than Canada, Mary. You two are still very much worlds apart.

Clearly, Mary, you just cannot convince yourself that this real, and I don't blame you. You really have no idea who this man is. He could be an axe-murder, terrorist or drug user.

Mary, I really do not see how this can work out for you. It's not even a simple matter to just pack up and move to another country.

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