Dear Isis....

Submitted by Mary (Canada), Oct 29, 2009 at 13:09

Thank you all for your reply I really appreciate it. To answer to Isis, personally I think you are right. I think it is going to be hard to enter his country anyway, But to him it seems to be an easy thing to do. We talked about the danger over and over and he always tell me that if I stay home with his familly that I will be safe. In other words if I go nowhere I will be ok, which I'm not sur of. For the dressing code I talked to him about it , and he told me that no burqa or hijab is necesssair since his familly is very "open-minded" according to him a small scarf is good enough.

I do not feel pressure about him for visa or him wanting to come to canada that's the thing. I know it's been such a short period of time we know each other and I think he is sincere but I cannot be 100% sur like some have mentionned on here earlier. Yes, he has all the qualities I was looking for in a man. He seem to be so perfect for me, he is what I want but in another hand I do not want to put myself in danger.

I feel like I need not to let go this one. In the past I had a relationship with another Afghan man from canada wich has lasted for almost a year ( secret relationship ) and then had turned out to be a completly disaster just because at the end even if we loved each other we couldnt be together because of religion factor his familly and all that so, we took space. This one said to me that his familly accepted me ( they saw my picture suposely ) but I have to convert first. I did studied Islam very deep, I know about the religion but not all of it and I have to admit that I dont really want to change religion but in another way I think I would, it's very complicated in my mind right now regarding that .

I plan to talk with him more and know him for longer than that, before making any decision about getting married even if we already know it's what we want. But I also want to see him and meet him in person at least because I dont like the distance factor and he thinks the same thing too.

So basically if I understand good. It is going to be too hard for him to come to canada either on a temporary visa so it's me who will have to go there or somewhere else..a place I can go to in the middle-east right?

He also mentioned that he is not even sur if he can get a visa or temporary visa to go to India or other places in middle-east. That's why he said that our last option would be Kabul. I dont think he is a Taliban or a terrorist because I asked him in the beginning and he laughed about it, saying that if he was one of those he wouldn't try to build a serious relationship with me, he also sent me picture of his familly to reassure me and we have exchanged phone numbers since then and he have a stable job also which makes me think he is telling the truth.

Maybe all of that is a big game like some stories I read on here... or maybe it's not, I dont beleive it is. Maybe I dont see the Red Flags because my feelings for him are so strong, I don't know. But 1 thing right now is that he told me he is impatient, that he cannot wait for his future wife and that we need to be together soon because he hates waiting.

What to do ??

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