confused about my man from Afghanistan

Submitted by Mary (Canada), Nov 10, 2009 at 13:57

I am confused. I looked at every comments and look at posts and I tried to see a light at the end. I do ...and I don't. I beleive at 100% stories of experienced people on here. I talk everyday for long long hours with my man from Afghanistan and I realise that he doesn't want to come to Canada and that confuse me a lot. Canada is so peceful and simple , I dont get why he want me so much to go into his country. I explained to him all the reasons why I don't want to go. He agree and disagree with me. For him it's clear like water that with his familly I will be so safe! I explained to him that it would be so hard for me to enter his country anyway and he said WHY? AND WHO is going to stop you? at first look, you look like an Afghani Girl so they will not do anything. I said WHAT? it has nothing to do with looks. ( this is weird) So anyways after talking and talking I came to conlusion to say: " why you don't come on a temporary visa to Canada? so we can meet and know each other more?" he said ok. But the next day story had changed. Now that he knows I am against going to live in Kabul, he wants to go to India with me for a whole year , get married there and then come to canada by visa.

Why he really don't want to come to Canada? when i talk to him he say's Oh yes! I want to come to Canada, but when we talk about the steps to start making it happen, he talkes about India and no talking about Canada. I am mixed up. I taught he wanted or didn't mind comming to Canada afterall , but it doesn't seem to be the case. One thing is that he loves me I feel it so much, and I talked with him about trhe thing of having many wives and about many of my concerns and he disagree. He said this is old days only like 1 or 2 out of a million men may have 2 or more wives, he said never think that again please. I also told him that if he wants me to convert to his religion " absolutely" to start by explaining this religin to me because i told him, I try to learn more on my own about it but it is so hard to understand. He told me : " Once we are married I will explain to you in details" I told him : " well, before getting myself into a new religion I want to know about it that to me it makes more sence this way."

We get along very very good,( more than good) everything is just so " perfect" I know that I am young i mean I am only 23 and I still have a lot to do and experienced before getting myself into a huge thing like this. But to me, from my own experienced he seems way better than all the western guys I met in the past. His morals and the way he thinks is so what I was looking for. I do trust him, but I am also on my guard as well. I am ready to get married and build my own familly, I know I am and him too. And it's both our dream.

But the thing I find strange is why he doesn't want to come to Canada?? Is there something that I don't see, or a thing I should suspect or that I should know ?

Maybe he is use to have the girl comming to him and not the opposite because he explained to me that in the past, he met a girl from the internet from Canada ( she was Afghani ) and she came down to Pakistan to live with him and his familly ( but she had familly there in Pakistan ) when he was living in Pakistan last year. He said he broke up with her because she was cheating on him several times. Is it true? is it not? I will never know.

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