duties of an islamic wife plz read!

Submitted by bewildered (United Kingdom), Nov 25, 2009 at 22:44

Hi everyone

sorry my posting is late but iv'e had to send it again due to problems sending it before.

I happened to read this forum ( islam calling.com)and came across " How to make ur husband happy, so to all contemplating getting married to a devout muslim PLEASE READ:

SUMMARY OF THE BOOK BY SHEIK MOHAMMED ABDELHALEEM HAMED

1 BEAUTIFUL RECEPTION

After returning from work, school, travel or whatever has seperated you:

• Begin with a good greeting
• Meet him with cheerful face
• Beautify and perfume yourself
• Start with good news and delay any bad news until he has rested
• Recieve him with loving and yearning sentences
• Make hard efforts for excellence of the food and having it ready on time

2 BEAUTIFY AND SOFTEN YOUR VOICE

For your husband only,it should not be used in front of non mahram men ( men who can marry you if you were unmarried)

3 SMELLING GOOD AND PHYSICAL BEAUTIFICATION

• Take good care of your body and fitness
• Put on nice and attractive clothes and perfumes
• Bathe regularly and after the monthly period,remove any blood, trace of bad smells
• Avoid that your husbandobserves you in dirty clothes or rough shape
• Avoid prohibited types of ornamentation eg tattoos
• Use the types of perfumes,colors and clothes that your husband likes
• Change hairstyle,perfumes etc from time to time, however these things you should avoid excessiveness and of course only act as such in front of mahrem men and women

4 INTERCOURSE

• Hasten for intercourse when your husband feels compulsion for it
• Keep your body clean and smelling good as possible including cleaning yourself of released fluids during intercourse
• Exchange loving phrases with your husband
• Leave your husband to fully satisfy his desire
• Choose good occasions and suitable times for exciting( thrilling) your husband and encouraging him to do intercourse eg after returning from travel, weekends etc

5 SATISFACTION WITH WHAT ALLAH ( Subhaanaha wa ta'aalaa) HAS ALLOTTED

• You shouldn't be depressed because your husband is poor or works in a simple job
• You should look at poor handicapped people and remember allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa) for all that was given to you
• You should remember that real wealth lies in faith and piety

6 INDIFFERENCE TO WORDLY THINGS

• You should not consider this world as your hope and interest
• You should not ask your husband for many unecessary things
• Ascerticism does not mean not to enjoy what is good and permissable (halal) but it means that one should look forward to the thereafter and utilize whatever allah SWT gave them to achieve paradise (Al-Jannah)
• Encourage your husband to reduce expenses and save some money in order to give to charity and feed poor and needy people

7 APPRECIATION

• By the saying of the prophet (sallallaaha alaihi wa sallam) the majority of people in hell were women because they were ungrateful and deny the good done to them
• The result being grateful is that your husband will love you more and will do his best to please you in more ways
• The result of being ungrateful is that your husband will be disappointed and will start asking himself " why should I do good to her if she never appreciates?"

8 DEVOTION AND LOYALTY

• In particular in times of calamities in your husbands body or buisness eg accident or a bankruptcy
• Support him through your own work,money and properties if needed

9 COMPLIANCE TO HIM

• In all what he commands you unless it is prohibited ( haram)
• In Islam the husband is the leader of the family and the wife is his support and consultant

10 PLEASING HIM IF HE IS ANGRY

• First off try to avoid what will guarantee his anger, but if it happens that you can't then try to appease him as follows
• If you are mistaken then apologise
• If he was mistaken then keep still instead of arguing or yeild your right or wait until he is no longer angry and discuss the matter peacefully with him
• If he was angry because of external reasons then:
• Keep silent until his anger goes
• Find excuses for him eg tired, problems at work, someone insulted him
• Do not ask many questions and insist on knowing what happened eg
• you should tell me what happened
• I must know what made you so angry
• You are hiding something and I have a right to know

11 GUARDIANSHIP WHILE HE IS ABSENT

• Protect yourself from any prohibited relations
• Keep the secrets of the family, particularly intercourse and things that the husband dosen't like other people to know
• Take care of the house and children
• Take care of his money and properties
• Do not go out of the house without his permission and put on full Hijaab
• Refuse people who he does not like to come over
• Do not allow any non mahram man to be alone with you in any place
• Be good with his parents and relatives in his absence
• Showing respect for his family and friends
• You should welcome his guests and try to please them, especially his parents
• You should avoid problems as much as you can with his relatives
• You should avoid pitting him in a position where he had to choose between his mother or his wife
• Show good hospitality for his guests by arranging a nice place for them to sit, perfection of food, welcoming their wives etc
• Encourage him to visit his relatives and invite them to your home
• Phone his parents and sisters, send letters to them,support them in calamities etc

13 ADMIRABLE JEALOUSY

• Jealousy is a sign of a wifes love for her husband but it should be kept within the limits of Islam eg not insulting or blackmailing others
• You should not follow or create unfounded doubts

14 PATIENCE AND EMOTIONAL SUPPORT

• Be patient when you face poverty and strained circumstances
• When you face calamities and disasters that may happen to you, your husband his and your children, relatives or properties eg disease accidents death etc
• When facing hardships in Da'wah ( imprisonment, getting fired, arrested etc
• Be patient and encourage him to keep on the path of Allah and remind him of paradise
• When he mistreats you, couteract his ill treatment with good treatment

15 SUPPORT AND OBEDIENCE TO ALLAH DA'WAH JIHAD

• Co operate with your husband and remind him of different obligatory and voluntary worships
• Encourage him to pray at night
• Listen and reciting the Qur' aan individually and with your husband
• Listen to islamic tapes and songs individually and with your husband
• Remember Allah Subhaanahu wa ta' aalaa, much particlarly after Fajr and before Maghrib
• Share in arranging Da ' wa activities for women and children
• Learn Islamic rules( Ahkaam) and good manners ( adab) for women
• Support your husbands activities by encouraging him, offering opinions, soothing his pains etc
• Yeilding some of your rights and a part of your time with your husband for Da' wah
• Encourage him to go for Jihad when needed and remind him that you and children will be in the preservation of Allah subhaanahu wa ta' aalaa

16 GOOD HOUSEKEEPING

• Keep it clean , decorated and well arranged
• Change house arrangements from time to time to avoid boredom
• Perfect food ( preparation) prepare healthy foods
• Learn all the necessary skills for maintaining the house eg sewing
• Learn how to raise children properly in the Islamic way

17 PRESERVATION OF FINANCES AND THE FAMILY

• Do not spend from his money, even for charity without his permission unless you are sure that he agree's on this
• Protect his house, car etc while he is absent
• Keep the children in good shape, clean clothes etc
• Take care of their nutrition, health, education, manners etc
• Teach them Islam and tell them stories of the prophets and companions

Well! there it is, i was speechless!! what exactly do the men do? Thank god i was born in Engalnd! There's a big difference in choosing to do these things for your husband or being forced to. Hasten for intercourse when he feels compulsion for it !!!! yeah rite!! Any way ladies I suppose many will say things have changed now, but I wouldn't take that risk...... no way .......no how ........... i have been saved.

take care ladies and I wish you all the best in your decisions with these men

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