To Flower---How to tell

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Dec 18, 2009 at 15:41

Flower:

The only way to know the things you want you to know about this man is to observe him and be with him more often. Texting, e-mailing ect. those things will never give you a complete picture about a person.

Now, if you've been with him for say a year and were posting this message, I would be a lot more concerned, but as it is, I just think that you don't know him very well and your heart has ran away before you've had a chance to logically approach this.

What is happening here is that you have fallen for a man you barely know, and unlike many other stories on here, you have the advantage of seeing him in person. This will tell you a lot more about him.

Listen, you sound like you have not been seeing this man very long, and you're already talking about sex and a relationship. That's not healthy or good, Flower. Nor is giving this man money. I think you and I both know that if you weren't so interested in him, you would not have been so generous.

These are the kind of behaviors that scream desperation.

If there is one thing I must insist upon, it's that if you give someone a lot of money, they won't respect you, no matter how good your intentions are.

Also, people who are in the service industry and who are scammers will almost never ask you directly for money. They often come up with a scenario that makes you feel like you should give. Strippers and crafty waitresses pull the same tricks on men.

And yes, Flower, you did fall for him fast, but at least you have the presence of mind to see what is happening, and I know it's annoying and probably aggrevating because you want answers NOW. That's why so many women stumble on here confused and out of sync--because their hearts are running away from them but those incredible feminine instincts are telling you this could be a bunch of BS.

I think that you're going to have to patient if you want him in your life, but it sounds to me, speaking as a guy, that if he's just going to send you a couple of messages, he's really not all that interested. When he comes back, I think that you will have to make your intentions clear, and if he's going to act like the men talked about on here, then he doesn't deserve you.

But that means you'll have to restrain yourself as well, because if you tell him you don't just want sex and put-out, well, you'll send out mixed messages.

That is the attitude you need to have whether the men you are dealing with are Moroccan or not--- if you want to be respected and not taken advantage of. Believe me, it's not a pleasent experience, and if you give people a inch they'll take a mile. Just be assertive.

I have no doubt that this man treats you well, and a lot of women are attracted to these men because they aren't attached to desperate, which kind of has it's own irony because I've observed that women I'm not necessarily interested in are very interested in me, because I'm not giving them the time of day.

It's worth noting to anyone on here though that ALL relationships start off good.

For future reference: just keep in mind that having a green card is not the same as being a US citizen and that a marriage to a American women shortens the requirements to become naturalzed.

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