Right up my alley...

Submitted by Pandora (United States), Dec 21, 2009 at 16:37

Marianna, I have been there also. But what I have learned is that for these men, though we may be flattered by their pushy ways, reading them as interest, their idea of what a girlfriend is (CPA=convenient piece of a) vs. ours (long-term relationship to marriage) is so different, like a species set apart.

I got out of a relationship with a Turkish man whom I dated the major part of this year. He was very good-looking too, younger than me by 15 years, and my ego couldn't have been more on cloud 9. But he also was demanding, texting all the time, wanting to know everything (possession) while being obsequious about his own self, would want me to be quiet when he spoke to his family (big red flag there!!), and pushed pushed for marriage. He wanted a green card. I stood my ground, but lost my heart. I am slowly getting it back, but it was a hard lesson to learn. As a divorced woman, as Luigi has said, is like a bleeding deal to the killer whale...they know you are wounded and make an easier catch.

Don't beat yourself up. It can happen to anyone, and we on here as a community, are here to learn from one another and to help. I have dated again, but am happy to report that I am standing my ground and saying no, even when a potential suitor is aggressive. The feeling of serenity, my integrity is worth more to me than a lifetime with one of these loopy letharios!

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