Hemhem

Submitted by poster who refuses to leave name (United States), Jan 10, 2010 at 00:15

Hemhem.

...
I will give my opinion, from my own experience to date and we are both logical and realize our lives are in a virtual world right now as yours and our lives has not started yet as a married couple. We have been together for two years now and married for one and yes, we met on-line and I have traveled to his country twice and he should be here on a green card by March or April (fingers crossed). Firstly, I want to say I feel your frustration and lonliness. Second, since my husband does practice his faith and believe strongly in Allah, he is not perfect and he will be the first to tell you. We did have sex before marriage but we were in process of obtaining marriage records and hoping to marry while I was there but we ran out of time and finished papers on my second trip to Morocco. So he felt since our intent was good and marriage was to follow maybe Allah would forgive him. God/Allah is suppose to be forgiving correct?

Morocco in most families are so liberal compared to the other Muslim radical countries, yes you still have some families that are die-hards amongst Moroccans. To answer your questions and concerns, I think it depends on his family and up-bringing. My husband had his freedom from both parents to make his own decisions with his life and his marriage partner.. He has always had to provide for himself for fathers sometimes neglect the boys in the family. Maybe this is why they seem closer to the moms. My husband's father is very hard on his sons.

My husband has 6 years of education in marrakech and knows English very well. He studied English for two years. This may have made him a better man for he was not one of the poorest in this country and therefore not as desparate to get out of Morocco. I will say not to worry much about the law of Morocco and sex before marriage. I know from a situation a Muslim girl thought she was pregnant and was out of wedlock, and my husband's friend was claimed to be the father if she was pregnant....and I asked why will he be made to marry her by police and family law if she is a prostitute and get around? His answer was all she had to do was say she never had sex with anyone but the friend and he can be made to marry her.

It turns out, he was lucky this time around. So I don't think they will frown on this, but will ask him about the fatherhood and if he is willing to accept this is his child. If he says yes, everything should be ok.......now, the religion part.....my husband doesn't have a problem with me not converting but as I believe in a higher power God/Allah I do not go to Church. My husband said conversion needs to be from the heart and not something I feel he would like me to do, but his father was little more "pushy toward asking my opinions of converting". We never talk about religion views and maybe that is why we do not argue. We respect one another, but I also have an open mind and try to understand the teachings from videos. so your answer will be how demanding is he about you converting.

You will have to decide if the baby is to be Christian or Muslim? My guess would be Muslim unless he wants to convert and I highly doubt the second will happen. This is concerns and issues that should have been discussed beforehand but now is too late. The baby is on its way. You are going to have to make some tough decisions and I am sure your family will not be happy. Are you living for your family or your own family? We can't always make family happy if we are to choose our own path of life, can we? You are an adult. People will not be understanding anyway, They are DIFFERENT from us. People are scared of the opposite. It is why there is so much racism in our countries. You will have to seek these answers from the father of your baby. Even though a few posters may claim to hold your answer you seek, You and he will only know the answer. We don't know or have an understanding of your boyfriend's character. If your family loves you, they will stand beside you in why you made your decisions. Im sorry I can not offer much help but I tried to compare situations and culture experiences. Best of luck to you and the baby. Be healthy and take care.

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