Going to try again... This is my story

Submitted by Michigan (United States), Jan 22, 2010 at 23:27

An egyptian man messaged me from one of those singles sites back in November 2008. He was here in my area going to university. I'm 50 and he is considerably younger. It started out as a casual relationship and I didn't expect any more from it than that, but by February 2009 his charm won me over and I fell in love with him. I started to tell him that and at first he said he couldn't be mine, he couldn't make me happy. But then I think me telling him I loved him changed him somehow. Soon he was saying it to me too and by June we were engaged.

In July of 2009 we moved in together. He changed as soon as we started living together. He got really controlling... down to the things I could eat even. I wasn't allowed to ask him any questions because questions always made him angry. He was pushing to get married right away as soon as we started living together. He was worried god would not forgive him for what we were doing. He didn't sleep with me in the bedroom either. He slept on the floor in the livingroom because what we were doing was wrong but I guess sex was ok.

Anyway, we fought alot about the date of the wedding and my mom is a bit of a control freak herself and created a problem. Whenever he got angry about when we were getting married... he would just totally stop talking to me. We decided we would get married in October. In September we had another fight. This time because I told him my mom was upset that we were not going to wait until December to marry. I figured it was something we could talk about. It didn't mean I was going to postpone the wedding. I just wanted him to know mom was upset. Well that was the beginning of the end for us. Or it appeared to be anyway. He stopped talking to me for a whole week. And then finally said he wasn't going to marry me and even told god he wasn't going to marry me and never changes his mind. He also said he was no longer comfortable living with me and was searching for an apartment online. So I tried for 3 days to talk to him. He would sit and listen and then say... now leave me for some time. After 3 days I had no choice but to find another apartment to live in as I could not afford the rent where we were living if he left me.

When I found an apartment, I told him we needed to give 60 days notice there. He seemed speechless, but I was only doing what he said we had to do. Then I tried to give him the ring back and he started yelling at me. Accused me of never wanting to marry him, etc. It seems now that he only said those things to try to get me to marry him sooner. He used to always try to make me jealous by saying girls at university think he's sexy and some have asked him out for a drink. I thought... well then what's he doing with me if younger girls are interested? He also said his mom wants him to marry his cousin but he doesn't want to marry her. He has no feelings for her but his cousin loves him and is waiting for him.

So I moved out and he pretty much said if things work out between us and my mom stops interfering, we can marry in December. So in November we set the date for December 28th. Everything was fine and then he stopped talking to me again. I asked what was wrong and he said he won't have any time in December. He said because he was going to egypt to visit his family over the christmas break. I think he knew by then he was moving to lower Michigan but didn't want to tell me that.

Anyway, the last time he came to see me he made a promise to me about finding a place for us to live in lower Michigan and once he is settled there he will send for me. He emailed me from egypt a couple times while he was there... said he missed me so much. When he got back in the states this month he said it again. Misses me so much and loves me, but no talk about the promise. Just said... I hope to hear good things about you and I miss you so much. Now he is on singles sites again and trying to make me jealous again by mentioning he is in a bigger area with more girls. So I stopped chatting with him and only leave him messages now. So why did he even bother staying in touch with me after he left? My sister and girlfriend think I am on the back burner in case he finds something better. My girlfriend said I shouldn't put my life on hold for empty promises. I just wish I didn't love him so much. When we weren't fighting about the date of the wedding... everything was wonderful with him and I've never felt such a connection before to any man, ever.

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