responsibility is easy guilt is hard

Submitted by broken heart (United Kingdom), Jan 24, 2010 at 13:52

No we are not responsible for them, though often our guilt will give us the impression that we are. If the relationship did not work it may be partly our fault but not entirely so don't take the responsibility for all that went wrong. Letting go is the hardest thing to do even if they made our life miserable, this is something I learned from my domestic abuse therapy. We each have our own journey in this life that we are responsible for, this includes overcoming poisonous people we may invite into our lives. I am still trying to let go emotionally as i miss the good times though the became scarcer and scarcer as time went on. I am not responsible for the misery he is living in as I gave him all the chances to have a good life. I am only sad that he was not able to recognize his opportunity and his illnesses - lack of self esteem which resulted in alcoholism and controlling behaviour - ruined his chances with me. I think his future is dim, i only hope the shock he experienced when I left him causes him to change.

Advice to you - let go, when you find yourself thinking about him think about why you stopped loving him. You were not meant to be together, at this point only hope that he will find someone else so he stops trying to contact you.

good luck

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