Irish woman, Tunisian man--Ireland, Tunisia , Islam, Muslim man, obey, control

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Feb 11, 2010 at 21:20

Hi there Anne

First of all, I can understand how you are disturbed by what you are reading on here, especially if this your first time in an on-line/distance relationship.

The problem here is that your man is giving you all these ultimatiums---convert to Islam, don't act up, or else. His pattern suggests he will expect you to follow strict rules, but he may not follow them himself.

The idea that you go and see a male doctor upsets him is a bad sign, Annie. That's pretty extreme jealousy, and you can be certain it won't be limited to your doctor. It's certainly possible that if you marry this man and get him to come to Ireland, that he will lock you in your flat, make you wear a hijab and have no male friends. Whatever the case, this behaviour of his will probably only get worse over time.

This sounds like a visa scam to me. All he seems interested in is getting to Ireland. From what you have told me, I have no reason to believe that he loves you or your son. Frequently, men like this target older, divorced women with kids in order to get a free pass into another country or money.

Only expect you to behave in front his family?? That's a load of nonsense. I don't believe that for a single second. This man sounds like a control freak.

The best thing you can do is not to go Tunisia and dump him. I realize that may sound drastic to you at this point, Anne, and I also understand that you may want a man to help you care for your son, but I definately do not see that happening here. I'm sure he's all charming and love-dovey when he talks to you and I'll even wager he tends to treat you better than any Irishman you've been with. But that does not change the facts or who he is.

Break this off, Annie, for your own sake and for the sake of your son.

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