Typical moroccan story

Submitted by Carol (Germany), Feb 13, 2010 at 08:09

Hi Laura, please, do not allow him to blind you! I know it's easier said than done, but I went through the almost identical story. I went two times to Morocco, I actually got married to the guy, but his mother never accepted it nor will she ever. I'm a divorced woman just like you, but I had no kids from that previous marriage, otherwise there would have been no way to even think about being introduced to the family. The brother or sister yes, but not to the parents. Just like in your case.... . My sons, whom I have now, are from my moroccan husband, but his mother doesn't accept them either. She keeps saying how they are not good, because they are half from a non-believer, which is me, the catholic woman. However, by now I'm back to my native country, my sons luckily with me, and at first my husband came over to visit us often.

Now the boys and I see him hardly twice a year for one month and he keeps saying more and more often how his mother is pushing him to finally marry a moroccan woman and have other kids. She doesn't care about me or our sons and she has huge influence on my husband. Just like all morrocan mothers have on their sons.... Besides, the men themself never really accept us, because they are looking for something else, so after a while it can only have a bad ending. Mine was such a smooth-talker and had only nice things to say when we met. While dating, I was sure there is not one better and more honest man than this one. I'm neither naive nor too young to judge, but here I went completely wrong and let him fool me. Totally! Trust me on one thing: you will NEVER be accepted, not even if you convert. They all have this way of sweet talk, they make you believe you're the queen, but they talk to all women like this (before marriage...) and sleep around anyway.

After being married, he will only talk to other women sweet, since he won't get them in his bed if he shows his real nature. It's logical. Must talk sweet to reach your goals, but afterwards .... forget the nice guy. It's their culture and they don't see no wrongdoing in it. Not that western men don't cheat or lie for that matter, some do it just as well, but moroccan men, and sure other muslim men too, even go as far as to believe it's their God given right to do so. They get REALLY mad when you have the nerve to tell them you expected fidelity and honesty and that you're tired of their lies. They feel insulted, that a woman dares to talk to them in such a "disrespectful way". If I hadn't heard it with my own ears, I would think that's all a joke. Beware of their smiles, their sweet words, because they are just lies. As simple as that.

The business talk is also bad, because if your guy would really run a business, he would already have an account and wouldn't need to make it first. Now that story I know from more than one man, because I met many of them while visiting Morocco and pretty much all had one thing in common: the wish to get out of Morocco, but they still needed to find, I quote now, "a stupid to marry them". One said he wants to find a woman for "cooking, cleaning and to f**k", so as soon as he would have his Green Card, or after a couple more years become a citizen, he would divorce "the western shit", "get rid off her" and get himself a nice virgin from his country. The other guys laughed and said that's the way to treat women in general, but especially western ones. Then of course someone remembered that I was sitting right next to them and was listening, so they went like "of course this counts for all women except you". Unbelievable how fresh these guys are. I was shocked by all these views expressed, because none of them was showing respect, leave alone love, for women from other countries.

What am I saying, not for Moroccan women either, but from outside --forget it. Sadly but true, the only reason for Moroccan men to marry women from outside is to have fun, perhaps to get papers and be able to make a better living outside Morocco. They still feel the strong need to return to Morocco, visit their families, especially their parents and of course the mostly already existing girlfriend, which just waits for her time to come. The women there are different from any women I know from western countries, because they too have been raised in that very different social surrounding and they close an eye on their men sleeping aroung, as long as they return to them. Actually the wife of my husband's brother told me "I would never say he is fidel, because I know he's not, but I'm his only wife and that's already good enough for me".

She also told me, that it is totally normal that the mothers-in-law treat teh wifes of their sons bad. "It's tradition", but it can become better after many years. Well, ok. A middle-age female neighbor told me, that her husbands mother didn't get along with her more than 30 years and recently, when her husband died and she became a widow, she had no longer a reason to take this treatment any longer, so the two women simply stopped talking to each other at all. The adult daughters and sons of the woman also stopped visiting their Grandmother, because she always treated their mother so lousy. By the way, all these people are native moroccans, so this wasn't a woman from outside! Now imagine the treatment of a non-moroccan. Most of them hardly know about the States, so Mexico is something out of Space. More or less. It's just not Morocco....Well, judge by yourself, if that's the place you want to find yourself some day. Heartbroken, cheated-on and treated like -- well, a woman....

The value of women in Morocco equals almost zero, so please, don't leave the States under no circumstances!!! Oh yes, and let that guy stay right where he is and let him find another stupid. Good for you that you went there, because Morocco is great for a vacation, but that's about it. Really! After being married, he wouldn't take you on trips and show you some nice places, because then he would only hang out with his male friends and screw some chicks there. You would sit at home and suffer. I give you this in writing! By the way, what did you expect your friend to say, when it comes to the point of only wanting a Green Card? Of course he has to say that he heard about such guys but that he is not one of them. They all say the very same thing.... Sorry to tell you this so straight forward, but as much as I wish you the best of luck, I simply know by experience that it won't be good for you. Wishing you the best anyway!

Take good care of yourself!

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