Jenna

Submitted by Hi Jenna (United States), Feb 25, 2010 at 17:28

Jenna, I will answer your post and quiet frankly no i am tired of this board. It has became boring. At first when I found this board, it was interesting to read because there was good information on reading people's stories and I was about to go on my out of country trip and wanted to know what to expect and I gave my experiences as well as all others but because I have a voice all of my own, and I speak up, most do not and will not like it as it is their choice. I honestly thought if I shared my experience openly that it would show two sides of the story which will never happen on this type of board. If I chose to leave this board it is not to go hide I promise you. Im tired of it being one sided. I can't change anyone's point of view and it is their relationships. They will have to see for themselves and decide if it is something they want or not, not for me or anyone to tell anyone what to do. I wanted to tell others there are some good men and asking here would not do anything but doubt and how can a stranger on the outside actually know 100% to be giving advice? Sure it may have been their experience but maybe not for the next person. Also i may have been wrong to give advice as well as anyone else on this board. How can anyone of us know anyone's situations to judge. We are playing with lives here by giving advice and we are not therapists or doctors.
Also to answer your questions. 1) the long process we took. It was unforeseeable. We had no idea of the immigration process and which road to take. we beat ourselves up on trying to decide what was best and in the end we decided together to marry there to share with his family and we will have a beach wedding next year to share with my family once he is here and settled at the same time we did not realize "I" would waste 5 months time before filing for unforeseen problems on my end and time got away...It was MY WAITING not HIM Jenna. I am doing the filings. You know why I am so headstrong about my decision and why I argue with ones saying different Jenna. Because I don't have that dreaded feeling or doubt in my husband's love for me so it is easy for me to say. I am very comfortable with him based on his character and his goodness and his heart and daily living(yes, from afar until he is here in April or May) He is a good listener and I love all his qualities that I have seen. Nothing is perfect and life is too short to worry about what may happen because it happened to this one and this one.

2) for your theory of waiting and taking it all....taking what all?? I may believe this if I owned anything, but it is all owed for and its just a place to live comfortably. Its a manufactured 80's home that I have torn out walls and floors and put nice tile floors, hardwood floors, new cabinets, painted paneling throughout and I have 3 years paid on it and owe 7 more years Jenna. Not much Equity at all build up. I have a used 98 Ford Expedition paid for i just had to put another engine in. No estate jewelry, just the land I am paying for. I have no one leaving me any inheritance Jenna. In fact, he will have more coming to him by inheritance by staying in Morocco. It is not what my husband is after. My family is a working family. We are not rich...Just middle class like most. My husband told me not to worry about the home and remodeling he will be happy just with me when I told him we can rent this out and buy another home in a couple of years. To be honest with you Jenna, he doesn't care that much for riches and he is down to Earth type person. He doesn't ask for much. He wants to be loved and appreciated even if he has nothing.

3) Our photos you saw. Jenna...it was sooo late and the day after we married. It was nearing midnight or later and we both had a long day before the ceremony started. I had kids on both sides of me playing tug of war all night. i was so tired , my back was aching and especially time it got to the blue dress. My hair was a mess...the tiredness showed and I had this 13 year old niece holding my $4000 professional camera taking our photos who had never taken photos before or used my camera. We both were worried she would drop it. Im sorry you concentrated more on a few pics and that is what stuck in your mind and you formed your own opinion. I think we looked very happy and bubbly on our honey moon vacation and we both looked happy in the kissing photo and on the beach. Also there were pics of him with big smiles showing all his white teeth but never-mind, cause they were all overlooked, maybe cause you were concentrating on finding flaws or something wrong with the picture.

4) Jenna, what you don't understand is I did not go searching for a dark skin man or a man from another country and this type man had never been my preference to date anytime in my teen or adult life. Nor did I do like most ask for a Muslim man or "Exotic man" Luigi likes to call them. Quiet frankly I think most are not attractive at all. My husband, at first I didn't think he was just drop dead gorgeous. I thought he was ok and he was white skin (which I am attracted to) and the more i talked with him openly about our lives and private moments, i started thinking, maybe this man is the man i would love sharing my life with. i threw the idea out there months into talking and I mentioned coming to see him. He didn't approach me or ask me to be some mail order bride. My husband is somewhat of a shy man. we both agreed the net is not real and we would have to meet and spend time together and we both are logic people. We are not idiots. we both know we have lots more to learn about one another and we have to include my two daughters 13 and 14 into the equation. We are ok with this, and we married cause we do love one another enough for marriage and we both feel 100% it will only get stronger. If you or others don't feel this, Jenna i promise you, it is ok. i don't ask for approval. All that matters is my daughters approval and my sister and my mom. They wait for him to be here and have bonded with him. They are ok with the situation and him being from a foreign country. He is so much like us you would not believe. Anyway, I am not saying more cause there is really no need for it.

He is coming to America. What good will a car do with him here and it in Morocco? same with a job. Trust me, he will have a car and a job and he will help pay for it and he will help support his wife. He is a hard worker and a dependable employee. Im actually through with this board and i am deleting it from my favorites. Why should i come here to read people posting I am ugly or he is blah blah blah and everything gets twisted. I wanted to share my experiences and my side too. This board is really like pageant boards. Mommies like to see the others feather's ruffled and there is name calling and it's easy to discuss other's lives isn't it when you don't have nothing to lose posting anonymously. Anyway the bickering back and forth is why we quit pageants and the name calling and is why I am finished posting to this board or reading it.

My final words, I will not listen to strangers who do not know me or him and try to tell me he is no different. We don't play games with one another and we don't try to charm one another. we are average people trying to make the best of a bad situation.

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