Not only have I considered that

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Feb 28, 2010 at 19:34

But I have also found my myself in the position of making excuses for and yes, even defending, women who were using me and cheating on me,---perhaps even as I was defending them.

Even when everyone I talked to about it, my friends, my family,

I have simply too much experience with on-line dating and blogging and have been around too long. The behavioral pattern of defense posts (and, if I might add, pity-party posts) suggests that the poster has some personal issues, usually regarding in what they are lashing out at.

The behavior patterns on this blog are nothing unique or special. I have seen this kind of nonsense all over the internet. Y! answers, topix, facebook, myspace, you name it. It's all there. Why my relationship is so wonderful and great that I'm gonna blog about until I'm blue in the face.

Do you know of anyone in a healthy, long-term relationship or marriage who does this? I don't.

That's one big reason why this board is devoid of Muslim-Muslim couples. Even though women who post defensively insist that their man's culture/religion/country of origin is under assault. They are simply too busy with their lives to care about what happens on an anonymous blog.

My discernment of what happens comes from the same skill set that legal judges and advocates use to root out the truth or get close to it. That requires being impartial and looking at the facts and reasonable patterns of behavior---like deceit and defensiveness.

If you have ever been part of a courtroom or courtroom audience, you'll understand what I mean.

It takes a lot of understanding of the English language and excellent communication skills (I realize that sounds cliche since people slam that on their resume) but perhaps most importantly a clear head.

To quote Smart Dating Institute author Marius Panzerella---women defend their men because they are attracted to them. That is why you'll see in court how a rugged convicted felon will have a woman of his stand up and shake her fist at jury and judge, even if she knows he is guilty besides.

It's the same principle.

It's not usually because they are trying to make sure people are being fair or just. I do not believe I've ever encountered that.

I'm also curious as to what brought you to this blog.

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