Try to understand, Isis

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Apr 3, 2010 at 16:02

Welcome back Isis.

The issue I see is that your opinions regarding Lisa are inconsistent with the principles you have consistently established on here You've posted on here to no end about how meeting a Muslim on-line will fail 99% of the time and yet you still encourage Lisa.

Whenever it comes to her, your posting tone seems to be on edge. It makes me wonder if this is an outcry of some problem in your relationship?

There a LOT of differences between your situation and Lisa's, Isis. When you first came on here, you at least examined your situation to see if there were initial warning signs. I'm sure you did not enjoy doing it, but nevertheless you did do it.

It's very apparent to me that Lisa rushed into a marriage with a man she does really know, either personally or what he will ultimately do should he get approved to live in the USA. I'm sure I don't need to tell you that being intimate with someone or having a piece of paper saying you are married is not proof of knowledge.

I can certainly understand if you are frustrated being married to a Muslim Egyptian man and seeing all of these bad stories, but they are bad Isis based on facts and indiviuality, not on as a collective culture or religion. People on here who think that are clearly emotionally distraught and frustrated and/or have been in bad situation, but it does not excuse generalizations. As I can never tire of saying, you don't see Muslim couples on here circling the wagons because they are too busy enjoying each other and family.

I must tell you, though, I would wonder why someone who acts so principled and disciplined on here makes my case the sudden and stark exception.

I do not find defensive posts written by Lisa or any other man-defender on here to be "positive". They frequently are vents of frustrations that are taken out on myself and other posters but are rooted in their own relationships with the men described on here, usually because they do not know their man, boyfriend, sex partner or husband and live in denial. They are most unwilling to even consider what they have is not real.

There is nothing special or unique about such relationships or comments and they easily eclipse the scope of Western women and Muslim men.

Also, it's very unwise to tell someone you won't read their posts and then respond. It can make you look like a total fool. You've said that to me before as well but I know you still read my posts.

It's just like when Lisa said she'd never come back, but she did.

Grandiose declarations of "I'll never read what you write again and I won't ever be back" are pretty much meaningless here on the internet and almost never followed.

Because people who are truly secure in their relationships do not need to talk about them or seek guidance about them on-line from total strangers, you are not going to find a lot of positive comments on here. Think about it, Isis----you don't come on here like Lisa does and soak the forum with irrelevant details about your marriage. You just chime in from time to time and actually give some solid, worthwhile advice.

You also made to reference the title of this blog. Please note what it means---advice AGAINST said relationships. So it's not going to be loaded with feel-good stories of romance.

It really is that simple, and trying to twist Lisa's situation into something it's not for the sake of balancing this board out is absurd to say the least.

It would obviously be mean to hope that Lisa or anyone else's relationship would fail, but the warning signs and red flags on here are just too great to ignore.

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