I hope you read this...

Submitted by Stephanie (United States), Apr 4, 2010 at 19:42

Dear Julie:

Yesterday I went to a funeral for a woman that was barely 20. She had Ewings Sarcoma and I never felt so sad. I guess this is to say, there can be a lot worse in life to happen.

I am not your enemy. Your sister-n-law had told me to tell you what i knew of Sameh. I didn't even wish to talk to you. I told you when we did talk I was afraid simply because Amy, she has always been terribly unkind. She would stand by Sameh's side no matter what he did, she will lie, steal, hurt to make him happy and she will always, because I think we both know, she doesn't feel she is good enough to get any other real man's love. I feel for her but at the same time, she can be really mean. :) I hope you are intelligent enough to see through it all. I will not fight with you or say mean things because that was never my intention and if you ask one thing of Sameh about me, if he was made to tell the truth one time, he would say I only ever helped him and stood by him in almost every way. I am never usually mean to people unless they are mean to me first.

I never lied to you ever because simply there is no reason to. You can ask everyone that knows me, I suck at lying. I am not saying I have never lied. I've done really small lies but I always come clean, feel guilty and it's just not in me. Check Sameh for yourself and see how trustworthy he is. Tell him to give you his passwords to his email, to trade phones with you, to trade computers with you without any time to let him clean everything out, get a program that opens all his passwords and start reading. We both know you would cry. The truth just sucks. By the way, we also both know he will read this so it will be too late to ever do what you want cause, once he reads this he will do everything, as always, to protect his behind. He hides things, he puts himself first always, he is not considerate when you cry...I know, I was there. He wants you to stand by him, take care of him in all his times of needs but when you feel sad, he will say, he doesn't need that drama. He has enough in his life going on. Why? After all, we want someone that will give us the same consideration that we give them right? Those are the questions you will have to answer for yourself because you see, Sameh believes he should be able to do anything to a woman, sleep with other women, talk to them. It's his right you know. He wouldn't stand for it if you did the same. I knew he was hiding things with me from the moment he realized we weren't going to be able to marry before his visa expired. I saw it, I feared it because before then he never hid anything. Up until that point he never gave me reasons to doubt him, I had his passwords to his account, access to everything...he was pure in heart I thought...but he isn't. When he started getting deceptive he would say to me he could have a million accounts, talk to a million women and do anything he wanted with them but he chose to be with me so that should satisfy me. I knew that too but he hid things and he started lying all the time. Yeah I had a soft spot in my heart up until last May. After that it really subsided a great deal. When someone screams to you and says they are married to someone else, and does it just to cause pain, it kind of made me understand that he really couldn't love me. After all, when I love someone so, I can't hurt them...cause it hurts me. I cried for a few months after that, every now and then, because it was all unbelievable to me, I'd given my world to this man, invested so much, listened to him, believed in him and he, was off doing God knows what? Yeah I felt hurt and I think I had a right. After all, up until last May he called me everyday and told me he loved me, we saw each other even when you expressed you had been with him for a year and half, he was seeing me, still saying he loved me and I had no idea at all about you. After last May I realized I'd been a sucker, stupid, all those things we don't wish to admit and yeah I just couldn't believe everything...was all a lie. Then he called me in August telling me in his teary voice that he missed me more than life, one great line,he'd die just to do this or that with me. Sounds familiar? I'm sure he says it to every woman. He called about 50 tmes and when I finally picked up ...he said how lonely he was without me etc...and the whole time I find he had you. Lonely? So yeah, again, I was asking how can a man do this? Don't you ever wonder how come you think he loves you so much when he lied about the phone, was calling me, wanting to have sex with me, having sex with Amy to keep her on his side, how does he really genuinely love you so much and still can do all of what he does? Of course he has to keep everyone on his side happy so he doesn't get deported...yeah...after all if Amy really knows she is just a friend why wouldn't she be kind to his real lovers, accept her place in his life...why would he have to hide and lie ever? Because that is not the case is. Because she isn't just his friend or atleast, she thinks she isn't and why? Because he allows her to believe this. I looked at her poetry site because he lied to me so much and kept telling me she was so jealous of me because I had what she wanted. He always told me she was nothing to him and that she knew she was nothing but a friend. I am sure he says that to you ...about me too. He seems to be the obsessed one by the way. I may have wrote letters in disbelief, hurt...but also if you read all my letters you would see I told him I'd never marry him cause I couldn't trust him. He knew his place with me. I would never have cared to look at her page in the first place if he'd been honest. I am no freak and I believe trust is the foundation of any relationship. If someone doesn't love me I move on but he always said he did. I was confused and I had the right to figure things out. He said he never once touched her, or you for that sake, that he wouldn't with a ten foot pole, not even on their wedding night, never. God, one time we were talking and he even expressed how grossed out he was with the thought of it. How does a person lie so much? I guess I was just overwhelmed at how he could and live with himself. Once while talking I acussed him in disbelief that I couldn't believe he could resort to having sex with her, after looking at her pics ...I am just saying and he asked me who I thought he was, how terrible I thought he was. This was last November by the way while he was sleeping with you which he never ever revealed to me as well. He acted like his stomach turned at the very idea of being with her but then he said, well someone had to of had sex with her in the past, she had a kid...I said yeah, but daddy was long gone before the kid was born...you know he laughed, he laughed. He's cruel. She thinks somehow he cares for her and yet he says awful things about her to the the women he is having sex with, He told me you were nothing when he was with me last year in the hotel. I saw your name, he'd added you to his live messenger. He said you were blond and I knew how he hated blonds. It said you were a nurse and he said you we no nurse. You worked with him and lied about that...I looked at him and he said baby, it's not what you think. Now...you sit there and keep saying he loves you. He also always said blond women, well, they were too pale for him. Now I am sure he tells you terrible things about me all the time...or how he couldn't possibly care for me because of this or that...cause he did it to each one of us women. He is so resourceful isn't he? He is good at making us women think we are the most important person in his life and the other is so detestable...ummm. And you...you give him cars, money, ways to get toys right? You give him the things he really loves so of course he doesn't wish to lose you and we both know deep down when his behind is on the line, he will do about anything to get what he wants. He will threaten...like with your abortion...to make sure he gets his way. And...you really think this is love.

The worse thing, in August til November he swore on Allah he never slept with Amy, not once and wasn't with any other woman sexually or inlove with any other woman other than me. But he did sleep with some 28 year old...said never again. I suppose he really did...as well as others. No, never one mention of you so I am sure Allah will remind him of that. By the way, one thing you must make note of, he knows I would never let him touch me, i'd never give him the light of day any more and you and Amy are the ones that will so he will lie, especially in my case because he hasn't a foot to stand on in my world any more. I am with a man, I won't give him things and there is no sex and I do love my husband dearly now. We had to build up what we lost but he isn't worth it to me anymore. It's still just unbelievable that he was such a good liar and at one time I let him get so involved with me that I lost site of the really true people in this world. I used to love him more than life...I can admit that...or I felt I couldn't survive without him...it was when he had me. Now he resorts to you ...and Amy.

Let me tell you a little about my husband. One day I was on period and he calls. I couldn't clean my house the way I wanted being the clean freak I am. I started crying cause my car was in the shop and I had no money to buy cleaning supplies. I told my husband I was sorry for being so silly but he was so kind. He rushed home from work that moment, took me to lunch, gave me three hundred dollars, took me to pick up my car and ...then told me that he couldn't have the most favorite person in all his life sad. One thing I ask you, would Sameh ever do this for you? No. I even told Sameh this story and it's why Sameh is no good for me.

I can assure you, Sameh sleeps with Amy even if he tells you he doesn't. Her poems don't tell lies and she writes that way so you doubt you are the main one in his life. She knows he wants you to believe in him but also, she is jealous because he is not happy with just her and she knows it. She wants to be the main one in his life, to get rid of you and so she doing it the way that she thinks won't look bad on her in Sameh's eyes...makes her still look good...eventually he will come running back to her she thinks when there is nobody else. She has this great mind game going and he will always come running back to her because it's who she is. Her poems tell her real feelings, when someone does something, wants something, is happy, they want to tell the world what they feel. I know this, any intelligent person knows this. He was trying to tell me otherwise...he is trying to please her so he can get what he needs and she won't ever be the way. I only looked at her site because he always insisted how she was nothing ever but I think of the diseases...etc...of all the sleeping around can cause. I never wanted to be stupid...I want to protect myself. Who knows where she's been...who knows anything any more. If you are ever trying to get closure by talking with her or to find out the truth, she isn't going to help you because she will do anything to keep him whether it be lying, stealing, she will make excuses for herself into make things right. He will keep her perhaps forever because she continues to always do everything he asks like a robot. and he loves that. God, he feels like a King...when he was born a poor man in Egypt. What man wouldn't love that even if the woman is a cow. He will never tell her to stop messing with the women he supposedly loves because, as long as she does what he needs and he is at her mercy...and he can be deported even after he gets a green card..nothing is set in stone...he may keep her forever...who knows. He will tell you to be bigger than her and ignore what she says because she just messing with you, since she is so jealous. Think hard Julie...it's all bull***So far she is a quality he really needs and loves, think, think think. You will always have to share and you will never be able to trust that he is really all yours. This life you have, you will have to fgure it all out for yourself. Your sister-n-law asked me to talk to you, I didn't want to and now you know why. I knew you'd get defensive, be mean to me and I just wanted to lay low. I never had to lie to you...and I never shall have to lie. I have dealt with Amy and know how mean she can be. I know how ignorant people can be when they want someone or think they love. You just need to figure things out for yourself. I will not be an enemy. I will not fight with you and I will never hate you. I felt bad...I did because I let him use me. I feel bad because I just thought he was a good person, with this good heart and I learned the hard way, that he isn't. I had to learned and maybe that is the only good thing that became of all of it. I can't help that I felt bad but I was never obsessed and I don't care who he sleeps with. I just want all ties cut.... I want him to quit using me...in every way and that is my right isn't it? I know he really never loved me the way I needed to be loved. I am selfish, I want full devotion, I want exactly what I give, I need that and he isn't capable with any woman. I never used him though, I never did bad things to him ever and deep down we both know you would want the same in your life. I wish you the best.... I won't haggle back and forth, treat you meanly...or ever be unkind. I am not Amy...I don't call people mean things either or give reasons to lie no matter what the consequences are.

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