Second response

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Apr 11, 2010 at 22:38

I read her stories.

As opposed to enjoying your own marriage? Were I Lisa, I would be flattered that such a happily married women would place precedence on my posts over that of spending quality time with loved ones.

I wanted to see what is the big deal and why you and Leigh constantly go at her as Margaret from Uk and others have brought to light.

Well, it's ultimately no skin off our backs if those goes sour. But I've dealt with posters like and Lisa on more than one occasion before.

Also, Margaret UK met her man in person and dated him in person in her own country. She's only keying off of her own experience but that experience is very different from the ones myself, Leigh and now Lisa are having.

A couple of years ago, the duo of sash and tara were on here defending sash's husband. It turns out that he was cheating on her, perhaps even as she and her friend defended him on here.

If you will go back and read her posts, she said she looked at his mail list while at his computer visiting with her kids on his cam while in Morocco visiting the husband. Her husband had sent her daughters e-mail for the mom and she was reading what he had written the daughter. She opened another e-mail as he walked in and he was surprised she opened it. That was her first trip, I think, before marriage. She stated he had no surprises in his e-mails or contact lists. I would have to go back and read again to be 100% positive. The e-mail was the spam dating sites send out to get you to join which she admitted she had gotten too at times from other sites.

Okay, that is not an indication of trust regardless of how it happened. Again, you're splitting hairs on irrelevant details. People who are trying to rationalize something only need to go that far. The point is she was on his computer reading through his stuff.

Tell me, did you go through your husband's computer before you married him?

If she cannot trust with what he writes to her daughters, how can she trust him to live in the same house?

Are you kind of starting to see just how quick marriage and international relationships create all sorts of problems?

This incident does not show mistrust in a relationship of two years. Its called being safe at an early stage of a relationship and keeping her eyes open as she would do with a 10-20 year marriage with an American man.

You contradict yourself here. First, you say it's not mistrust due to the length of the relationship. Then, in the very next sentence, you cite this as an "early stage".

So which is it?

Also, if you've been married for 10-20 years and feel the need to check up on your partner like that, I would suggest counseling, because unless the person doing the checking has some mental issue like OCD or Asperger's, there's something wrong there.

Why do you think marriages last or fail? The woman either finds her man cheats or he does not.

Most of the relationships described on here are based on appearance (ie youth) or the idea that their man is different and special because he is from another country.

Think about---either they can date a pot-bellied, balding wrinkled aging man who is older than them or they can get a nice, tan, bushy-haired thin younger man with a foreign accent, to paraphrase an article once posted on here.

There is noting unique or special about it. You could even go to Topix and find someone pining about "why don't Latino women like white men" or "why do black men love white women". Or Y! Answers and listen to someone pine about their relationship.

I have observed that women on this site often throw out their own dating rules and that is so many of them fall victim to scammers, men who act like jerks and liars.

It's my understanding that women date men to find a reason NOT to be with them. A lot of Western men miss this point entirely. However, on this forum, women (and some of their friends) just make excuses for shady behavior or for rushing into a marriage.

Study after study has shown that stable marriages are based on similiarities than differences. That is why, believe it or not, most Moroccan men will marry Moroccan men, most Americans will marry Americans, ect.

And actually, there are more Moroccan women who are married internationally in Morocco than Moroccan men.

Its a woman instincts to always check that her man stays good and honest or a man or woman can be cheating and the significant other would never know it. There can be too much trust and that is what happens and you read the outcome here with women taken advantage of.

The problem is that without solid trust, there cannot be a solid marriage.

What you are trying to say is that it's okay for Lisa to marry a man she does not trust because trusting him too much would be a bad thing.

That is absurd to say the least.

Lisa is trying very hard as her aggressive reactions on here indicate to fight off her instincts of uncertainty. That uncertainty exists because she does not have enough information, which as I never tire of saying, is hard to get over the internet or phone.

Lisa may as well have "too much trust" ---(which I think you mean is walking blindly into a situation, I don't think Lisa because of her over-zealous posting, so she knows something is wrong but won't admit it)---because she refuses to even consider that this might not be real.

All I have done in this thread is offer that up as a possibility, and those of you who claim to be friends of Lisa's are really not looking out for her best interests.

You have individuals on this blog (Lisa included) who have no issue at all telling other posters that their relationship is not real----and they (Lisa included) actually have given some very worthwhile, useful advice--- and yet the set of circumstances for their own relationship is the same-----

How does that work?

Let me ask you this: If you had a poster who said that on-line dating with Middle Eastern men had a 99% fail rate and then suddenly told one of your friends in that same situation that her relationship was real, would you not find that the least bit odd?

I read this blog due to I have friends involved in relationships. I am married American woman. So see, not everyone who reads here have issues or is not trusting their husbands. I like to read here and I sometimes post. More reading than posting.

Really? People just don't stumble onto a site like this. They are actively searching.

Your presence on here could indicate some other social issue besides your husband.

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