Don't walk..RUN!

Submitted by Wendy (United States), Apr 13, 2010 at 05:23

Dear Trudie;

I can only speak for myself, but this sounds all too familiar. I am an American and converted to Islam by choice. I met a Moroccan guy on an Islam forum. The minute I posted that I was converted he jumped all over me. We started talking for HOURS on yahoo and skype. I confided my whole life story to him because he was so charming, etc..Well he asked me to marry him and being vulnerable (I'm going through a very stressful time), I agreed. He doesn't want to come to the states he wants me to go there. So I have all the paperwork for "official" marriage in Morocco but still haven't gotten my criminal record after spend 20 dollars on the fingerprints and some 20 dollars on the report.

Anyway, back to the topic. Supposedly I had his family's blessings and even talked to his sister and Mom on video chat (with him translating for me of course). I was very happy and excited but for some reason I kept overlooking the fact that he didn't have a job. He claims to have a high degree in law (grad school), but has no job and claims there are none there. Well I had confided to him that I have an upcoming disability settlement that is a large sum of money. To back up a bit, before he knew this, he was demanding me to send money even though I have no job and was becoming extremely verbally and emotionally abusive. ironically when I told him about this settlement (I only did because I wanted to test him), he turned back into the charming loving person I first met. And all the sudden no controlling me, accusing me, demanding I tell him EVERYWHERE I go and what time I will be home..

Between this little test and some very supportive friends; I realized the truth - that he only wants my money. He had convinced me to fly to Morocco when I got my money and not tell my family. He said it was for my protection..Umm, no it's for his. I would have become a prisoner and slave to him. That's why he wanted me to get all this documentation to make our marriage documented to the country of Morocco. I can't believe I fell for it!

So I'm trying my best to inform anyone else that is involved with a Moroccan man to please be careful. They are not all bad; there are bad seeds from everywhere. So my advice is really think about it and not let your emotions get in the way. I came within an inch of taking my last few thousand out of the bank and flying there. There is no telling what would have happened to me. He probably would have taken my settlement money, spent a bunch on this bogus business he claims to be running, and most likely marry a 18 year old virgin and use my money to support her. And probably marry another two women as they can have four. He had mentioned this to me and we joked about it and the end consenses was that "I am the only woman for him"..Gag, I wonder how many others he has said that to.

In Islam the reasoning for polygamy is not to give the man a license to have several wives for his sexual desires, but it is meant for protection of the widows, single mother's, etc..It is considered a good deed to take a widow or single mother for example as a second wife to save them from being slaves, prostitutes etc. However his joking became very disturbing as for one he didn't have a job, and two he would act so excited to get to be with one wife one day, the other on the next. This all happened after I told him that I respect polygamy in Islam so he took off running with it. I don't remember what my point was; but please just be careful. You don't want to end up as a prisoner or slave, and worse yet get cut off from your family...

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