"Urfi" Marriage is just a secret marriage or a contract like "Muta" Marriages - Read more and understand what it means for you.

Submitted by Got Smart Fast (United States), Apr 24, 2010 at 04:48

Can you even guarantee it was his real name? The whole lot of them involved in your sham "Urfi" ceremony could have been in on scamming you. The family, friends, even the religious people look down on Euros and Westerners and won't care if your deceived by their men for their gain (visa's, money etc;). As you can see what happened to you, your now aware that your life means nothing to those folks. I'm so sorry your going through this. This seems to be the norm for most of the men in North Africa and the Middle East. Most are already married anyway. If not married, they are much younger, and like you said, fooling around to see who will bite the bait. The fact that he played with you in such a disturbing and callous way means he may be more than just a jokester.

You need to understand you willingly went to someone that could have been dangerous to you because his words show he did not care if you lived or died while he collected his winnings. Are you a horse, camel, or greyhound to bet on?? What happened to you is beyond humiliating dear. Trust me, he will never see any dignity in your character now that he has made you do his will by coming to him, especially if you just keep leaping up to go to him or answering every time he calls your name. DROP HIM and marry a man you can see in your own country daily. By the way: Your "Urfi" marriage is a "secret" marriage. It won't hold water in any court in Egypt usually, and if you live in the USA or Europe it won't stand either. What you did basically was a "Muta" marriage, which means a "marriage of convenience." It allows you to have sex without a having a real ceremony. Most "Urfi" couples don't live together because this kind of marriage is usually done because the couple can't afford a traditional marriage that involves living together. Your ceremony was not even registered anywhere as it was a religious marriage that has no binds should you get preggers or need him to financially support you. You don't have a leg to stand on legally in Egypt, thats why he is hiding the paper from you so you can never prove anything happened between you.

Get smart girl! Even if you did produce a paper to anyone, no one would believe you and just say your a loose western type of woman that had sex and is looking for something now. No one will be on your side there - trust me. Did you know that if you marry another Egyptian and stay in Egypt YOU can actually go to jail for being married twice? If that first man finds out and wants revenge and tells on you about the "Urfi", your going off in cuffs for hard time in a place where no one speaks your language or cares whether you live or die.... know why? MUSLIM MEN CAN HAVE UP TO 4 WIVES - BUT YOU CAN ONLY HAVE 1 HUBBY! Bet you didn't know that. For Egyptian women who get caught up in this marriage scheme its far worse because as of 2000, she can legally get a divorce, but the man doesn't owe her a cent in alimony or child support---she is screwed. The reason an Egyptian woman would even request a divorce from under this "Urfi" contract is to get remarried in Egypt with no problems, somehow legitimize her kids if she had any, or to not have herself labeled a "bad woman" for having sex without a marriage.

Muslim society looks down on these women and life gets harder. Your virginity is for your husband only. If your safe and sound at home right now outside of Egypt - please take my advice and change your email and phone number and NEVER visit Egypt again in your life. Forget this man ever existed and move forward with your life. Your not legally married to anyone. Your lucky you got away unscathed. Don't tempt fate anymore by risking your life with men that don't care about you. Been through all this mess and seen it all dear. It just disgust me how they play with our hearts and we are just suppose to go on like it never happened or hurt so bad. Your not alone. You will heal. Take Good care of YOU :-)

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