For Anon2 - RE: Women i am curious answer this

Submitted by Got Smart Fast (United States), Apr 24, 2010 at 07:02

Youre right - How can someone living thousands of miles from you gain your confidence so fast? I hate to be the one to answer this, but we must be honest with ourselves, especially those that have fallen too quickly for something that wasn't based in reality. I think some of the reason's I typed below can apply when women do this to themselves. Of course everyone is different, so they may have a combination of these characteristics, or maybe just one. There can be no other reason to abuse yourself in such a terrible way as to hand your life over to someone you barely know and trust them so implicitly. Something has to be wrong. I find most women don't reach acceptance of how their actions may have hurt them until they have ruined their lives completely in pursuit of foreign men.

My Short List - Anyone else feel free to add. It helps to be truthful with yourself. 1. Low Self Esteem 2. Loneliness 3. Hearing loving words that no one tells you usually 4. Overweight 5. Not Attractive/Lacking Conventional Beauty 6. Aging 7. Wanting/Needing Close Family Ties 8. Wanting to Belong 9. Wanting to be Needed 10. Naive People seeking to abuse you in some way always look for your perceived weaknesses. I think if a man in your own country were interested in dating you, you wouldn't look far away for a man. I also think some women have been so abused emotionally that they look away from the usual and seek men that represent something different from what they have known in the past.

The biggest reason I can find is the Islamic Family Lie. This religion holds family up as the most important thing in the world. Most western families are fractured, having no real structure. We see Middle Eastern families living all together and having set traditions, and this is very appealing to someone that has never had something like that. This emphasis on family and religion seems too good to be true, and it usually is. Muslim family have just as many troubles as any other families. People in Islam divorce, abuse each other, fight, argue, etc; It's just the image that is put forth that draws some needy people into it. I have watched women give up their core beliefs and become Muslim just based on a marriage proposal, not on knowledge of the religion. I know women that are so lonely that they change their religion to fit the man they are with at any given moment. Anon2 - Most women psychologically never recover from the hurt they experience from these marriages, mainly because they were broken before they entered into it in the first place. The man is usually the straw that breaks the camels back. Because I typed this you will see a swarm of angry responses saying "OHHH that's not true, nothing is wrong with ME, the whole problem was the MAN!

After suffering enough humiliation and the man leaves her, that's when the woman has to start dealing with herself - and the self blame and shame is crushing. There is no way to begin healing until you admit your part. This is why most women stay so broken after these sham relationships, they refuse to look at themselves truthfully. I am one myself so I throw no stones. I have chosen to take responsibility for my part of getting myself into a relationship with someone that was using me, and trying to figure out why I could allow myself to get hurt that way. It's a long road to recovery and I have been on it for a few years now. Thanks for bringing it up Anon2. I don't see anyone answering you, and that may be because it's just too painful for many.

I find this site cathartic, a form of therapy for me. I am glad I found it :-)

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