To Sarah - Keep us updated

Submitted by Got Smart Fast (United States), Apr 27, 2010 at 08:49

I had to re-read what you originally wrote because you seemed a bit bothered that someone would give you advice on leaving Egypt for good. Since you mentioned this "lawyer" having a copy, and your ex having a copy of the Urfi contract, I am now wondering if this lawyer was Egyptian or from another country? I know you don't want to hear this over and over, but as long as that man has that contract in his hands, and if the lawyer is Egyptian, if you date or remarry, no matter who it is, you may be in a gray area of being married to two men at the same time in Egypt still, or committing adultery if your dating. That may be a no-no, even if the man is lily white and not a citizen of Egypt.

If I were you I would seek the advice of a Muslim lawyer yourself, preferably one that is not Egyptian or living in Egypt, but understands Urfi contracts. What I am finding with so many women is that they cannot get it through their heads that just about anything you do with these men puts you in the position of being fleeced of your money in some fashion. As I pointed out once on this thread - it's not that they care that you remarry anyone because really they never cared about you in the first place - the biggest factor is will you do something to get yourself blackmailed by him should he find you at some point in Egypt dating or remarried? If you think he won't try it if he runs across you, your delusional.

If I'm not mistaken, in Egypt, your still HIS wife, if he and a lawyer have control of that paper. If he can, I doubt he will take you to court and have you jailed if he suspects your cheating or married to someone else, but I bet my last dollar he will blackmail you and your new guy for all your worth and hold that paper over your head to secure fear in you. Though the Urfi contract is not a legal contract, as of 2000, Egyptian women can get a divorce with it - and they need to or they risk being married to two men which can get them jail time.

This silly contract means nothing to men as they are allowed four wives. Get rid of one, add another, anytime they like. And men, though not legally bound to support the women or any children after this divorce, still have the power to take what is mostly a useless piece of paper that is just a plain old sex contract and screw the women in their lives over with it out of spite. The sexual matters of men mean nothing in Muslim countries, but for women, sex of any kind without a real marriage puts you on shaky ground. The man is fine, you get the bad label in these kinds of marriages. It's such a big issue, I couldn't even check into a hotel in Morocco while vacationing with my husband without the original of our American marriage license. We took it everywhere we went.

Big questions I am wondering about: 1. Are you bound by Egyptian laws on marriage because your "married" (I use the term loosely) to an Egyptian man? Can he accuse you of polygamy or adultery anytime he wants with that paper? 2. Can you get a divorce based on that contract like Egyptian women can? You may have messed yourself up destroying your only copy, and he isn't gonna give you one - lol. 3. If anything can happen, if your not Muslim, can you be sentenced under Sharia law to whippings or jail for adultery or polygamy in Egypt if your found with another man? Now I'm curious. Whatever you find out Sarah I would sure be interested in knowing the outcome. It would be a good education for others in your situation.

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