To Agent: Who are you to judge why women don't post names?

Submitted by Got Smart Fast (United States), Apr 27, 2010 at 23:30

Again I ask - Holding on to what? 98% of the women writing here already know they are in trouble, or they wouldn't even come here to type. They are in it already and they want advice. If your already in it, a name isn't gonna do anything but put you further in somebody else's business - and trust me, you may not want to go there if your own plate is full. The women here have real jobs, real lives, and real safety concerns that far outweigh the perceived advantages of stirring up more conversation because others "need to know" everything about you in order to save themselves. Most of the women here that have suffered abuse and are still in danger of being abused know they don't owe anyone a "community service" by posting all their personal business on an internet site that - as you stated - "you don't know who is reading it." It bothers me that people always wanna make someone who is clearly hurting face more drama. I tend to think the people who need to read names just wanna see us women who have been through hell now walk around publicly exposed in our underwear wearing a dunce cap because they think we're dumb anyway. Your not trying to save anyone, your trying to be nosey! I can do without my whole work place finding out I made this dummy of a mistake in my life should someone happen across this site that I know while I am trying desperately to change my life for the better, thank you very much.

It's not my fault or anyone else's fault if low self esteem bought you to this lowly point in your life.I don't think it's right to make a woman feel more worthless or like she is holding out on the general public because she won't give any of you her ex's name. If your in the middle of a case that involves divorce with children and/or property, if your running from abuse, if your communicating with the Department of Homeland Security concerning your case - I wouldn't put myself out publicly and ruin my chances or risk my life. Your doing the best you can at this point. Shame on all of you that are pressuring and belittling women already in a fragile situation. We all make mistakes, so give a woman the benefit of the doubt that she is able to get herself out of it, and come here to share her story "discreetly" to help the next person. Ladies, it's not your duty to risk your privacy, family life, and security to save anyone. Take good care of yourself and be smart about everything you do from now on.

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