Read this site fully

Submitted by tovictoria (United States), May 4, 2010 at 10:59

Victoria:

First, this isn't to make you feel bad but it's to make you think. It's obvious you have lost part of your heart because your like all of us women were at the beginning of our relationship. I'd never accept that anything was wrong with my guy and if someone said something, I'd most likely cut them off or not listen. I should have listened. These can marry up to four women and a lot of times they do have a bride back in their own country, arranged by the family that the family feels is suitable for their son. It isn't done out of love but for compatibility, sex, companionship and children. It can be a cousin, even someone he introduces as his own sister. I dated a man and throughout my time with him he'd jokingly ask me how I'd react if he ever wanted to marry another woman. I knew him for five years. Of course I said I wouldn't stand for it. He always told me he had no intentions of doing it, he just wanted to see my reaction and said he was teasing me. Believe me, it was never a joke and he meant to do it, that's why he brought it up to begin with.

There are signs in the men. If you see any of them...run. Read this site, read what the women say because most say almost the same things. He is devout, loving, treats you like a Queen for the first few years but once he has you, he changes. The man I knew ended up utilizing what he called "his right" to the fullest. Instead of telling me that he was sleeping with other women or married to them, he'd just lie straight faced to me and I never ever knew. I don't know how he did it but he did and he was very good.

Yeah he did it for money, sex, greencard, so as not to spend any time a lone, anything you can think of it, he had his reason or excuses and since these women were only just women, because in Islam a woman is only a half a person, he never thought of how it would have felt to be in their shoes. He never cared. After all, he got what he wanted. He even almost seem to enjoy seeing how many women he could make fall all over him, screw over, get them to give him things by winning their hearts. He thought they were so stupid. The millions of lies h'ed tell so that he could live his other lives was incredious. If your man hides anything from you, such a locks his phone, acts suspicious with emails or ims, gone for a few days to weeks at a time, gets angry out of the blue over really stupid things, blames you always for bad that happens, if he hides anything at all that has to do with the computer, worry. And if he isn't introducing you to his family, he has a reason. He is hiding you. It means he knows you are probably not acceptable and I wouldn't doubt the thing about a fiance.

Afterall, this fiance would be acceptable right. His excuse, to please mom. It's very common. If he seems to have plans to head back home soon for a limited stay, he could be getting married. Just don't be surprised if you find out your whole life has been a lie in two or three years if you chose to risk it for this man. I wish I could say don't cry about it because you knew ahead of time. I think everyone on here only wishes no one else make the same mistake. We are not wanting to argue and we don't wish you pain. You have to protect yourself if you are going to continue with him. I don't mean to trash these men but it's a whole nother cultural and what is acceptable in their religion is not in western upbringing. Most women here couldn't imagine sharing their man with another woman but it is the way for Muslims. Most women here couldn't imagine being a second class citizen but in Islam, a woman is only a half a person.

This could mean many things. If a woman is raped, she'd need two women I witnesses to equal that man. A Muslim man tends to never view a woman as a real friend like his male counterparts but at first, he plays the part good. Usually Muslim men likes to spend more time with his male friends once they have the little woman at home tending to his needs. A woman is basically for sex, taking care of his needs and children. She is not to question him and usually if she does, she will have crossed the line. He doesn't show this at first. It's only after marriage does he usually show it. She can't own property in Islam, a man isn't supposed to take anything monetary or financial from a woman but these men do, mostly from Christian woman or Western women that have recently converted. They view Christian women as the infidal and as for the women that converted, they are only second class Muslims, not pure as their women are back home. Never offer him money or monetary items even if he whines and you feel so, so sorry for him. He won't ask you either. He will just show how much he is suffering and you will feel sorry for him. He will usually deny your first offer but we as Western women have been raised to share with our husbands so it's natural.

You will think his denial of your offer is proof of his sincerety but months later when he knows you'd almost die without him, then is when he will be most grateful and accepting of your offers. Oh and he will always pay you back...noooo. They say this but they never do. Let him be a man and take care of himself like these men should.. From first hand experience...and I feel bad saying this but I learned it all from a Muslim man. I wouldn't trust a Muslim man if my life depended on it now and I definitly wouldn't risk a thing for him.

I wish you well

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