You're not alone

Submitted by Pandora (United States), May 13, 2010 at 22:50

I just did a similar thing. I had been chatting with this one guy, and we got close. Lucky for me, I also had a friend who knew him and could vouch for his character. He's better than most, but still in other ways, the same. I ended things with him, I couldn't go there. I had thought long and hard about it and it was insane. But it got to the point where I was online chat almost all day everyday to wake me up and make me realize how foolish it was.

So, I told him plainly that I'm not going and that we can be friends. So far, he has called me almost everyday (I have been busy, and am not answering). I took international calling off my phone (and until now, he didn't put out a dime to call me--haha not until I said NO). I have not been on chat, either. The freedom and peace of mind I feel now are overwhelming. And this time, I learned my lesson. The last guy I met locally, and wasn't aware of greencard hunters. But I would read the forums here and think,"Aw, she only met him online, how hard can it be? You can always shut the computer off, right?"

I didn't have appropriate boundaries, limits. I do now. And after the attempted van bombing in NYC, I have to really think about who I associate with because it could affect everything: my life, my child, my job. And it ultimately comes down to thinking more highly of ME before any man and also taking Luigi's very caring and considerate advice to heart: that you're better off meeting a man where *you* live and with a similar background. Godspeed.

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