Solid Advice for Canadian Girl

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), May 23, 2010 at 22:06

He is 39 and I am 25. I don't see anything wrong with him.

While it is true that it's more common and stable for younger women to date older men, the age difference here is of concern, because this man has lived most of his life as an adult whereas you have not.

As a guy, I can tell you that he is at least being up front with you---that he wants a Muslim wife. You say that maybe he will change----he won't.

Canadian Girl, I did on-line dating for 10 years and I've personally investigated scams for nearly the same amount of time. I've heard women insist over and over how they are independent and can make their own decisions, yet the vast majority of times, it's she who does all the changing, not the man.
He is only a bit jaelous which is normal, he is not controlling at all and is a very good muslim. The only little thing that starts to get me is the fact that he seems selfish. Always talk about him, him and him and God and him and God.

This man is clearly religious in nature, and you've indicated in a previous post that you just

I don't doubt my relationship with him. I do trust him and I am pretty sure he is not lying on anything, But again because of what people say about Arab men I have to keep an open mind and realise that it might change later down the road.

See, this is where you contradict yourself. If you have no doubts and trust him, why come on here? And you even admit that "What people say about Arab men" concerns you, although it's hardly a fair generalization.

Listen, CanadianGirl, I can understand your attraction to this man. He seems to know what he wants and where he is going, and dating someone of a different ethnicity is an exciting experience.

But I really do not think you two are that great of a match. It's very possible that he could turn out to be a total jerk, but the problem here is that you want all the answers before you get involved.

Listen, I'm 28, not that much older than you, but what I can tell you is that you'll rarely have all the answers before you decide to end a relationship or spend the rest of your life with someone.

The problem here is that his idea of Islam seems to be a conservative idea----and for you that could mean wearing the hijab, having no male friends except for relatives and staying home with the kids and not leaving the house very often. And you may not find out he wants that until after you are married.

See, he KNOWS what he wants. That in and of itself cannot tell you if he is a good or bad person, but the key difference is that you are not sure what you want.

I really do not see this working out because he will not change. This man, for good or ill, for better or worse, has hinted to you what he expects. As a guy, I promise you he will not change. .It will be you who will be adapting to him.

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