Response to Bway---on-line, Afghan man

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jun 24, 2010 at 15:16

Dear Bway---

I do not think what you feel for this man is real love. The reality is that you have never met him.

His trying to contact you after a break-up does not surprise me at all. I have had the same experience with women that I have broken up with who try and contact me again on-line and it has happened more than once.

That is one of the biggest concerns I have on here----a woman comes on here to tell her story, listens to our advice, breaks up with a man, but then after a time he comes right back.

This whole thing about him break his leg because of you---I don't believe that for a single second. That's what desperate men do. They come up with some excuse to try and get you to feel sorry for them so you will go back to him.

For other women on this site, it's usually an excuse involving a sick relative in the hospital.

Really, if your man or a close relative of his was having so many health issues, would he really be on-line trying to be in a serious relationship? That does not make much sense.

As a guy, it sounds like what he is trying to do is blame you. The whole "argue, argue, argue" deal---that's a common trick used on-line by liars and scammers. If you attempt to figure out what is really going on, like ask probing questions, or you challenge his intentions, their aggressive responses might surprise some. See, they are not like the Nigerian 411 scammers or phone scammers who try and steal indentity information. They'll even threaten to end the relationship even if it means they could lose everything.

I've had this happen to me before. I was talking to a woman from Suriname who was supposedly studying medical physics. Interestingly enough, one of my roommates at the time was studying the same thing and when I asked her specific questions, she got defensive and said I was being rude.

Bway, there's always going to be uncertainty in these on-line situations. The simple fact is that you do not trust him. If you did, you would not have all these questions and be on here. But, how can anyone expect you to trust a man you've never even met?

If you're going to do on-line, international dating, there's always going to elements of uncertainty. There's no way around it. Even the individuals on here who insist they are happy and secure----there are clearly elements of doubt and uncertainty.

I just think you can do better than this on-line nonsense. I'm not sure what this man's true motive is, but he's clearly not taking you seriously.

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