Wife of a Turk

Submitted by Charlotte (United States), Jul 8, 2010 at 04:58

I married a man from Turkey and sponsored his VISA. I don't regret it for a moment. I made sure before agreeing to his coming here that I checked out EVERYTHING. I flew to his country, met his friends, family, checked his bank statements, went to his work, verified his diplomas, etc. Only after he proved that he had enough money to support himself here, only after I was certain he was not in any way using me, did I agree to the paperwork. Because he authentically loved me, he never once got mad at any of my requests, he INSISTED I follow through with the verifications because as he said: "Muslim men need to prove they can take care of a woman before they can get married, we know this from when we are little, that doesn't change just because the woman is from the west. It's worse when you are with woman from the west because you don't want anyone to think dishonorable things like you are green card user or will make bad to your father's name".

So insist on checking up, and don't feel bad, he is already used to this verification in his culture. It's part of the nikkah ceremony to ascertain wealth and make promisary contracts. I have found there are many benefits to being with a man from Muslim culture. Unlike most American men I have known - he wouldn't dream of infidelity. He takes pride from providing for his family and would feel deep shame if I was forced to work or leave our babies in day care because he couldn't support us. There are some rough things of course: I have to cook three times a day LOL It's a pain in the arse. He is more emotionally needy than American men, I find myself having two hours of conversation with my Ebubekir at a minimum on a daily basis. He is a fanatic about cleanliness and can get crabby if he feels my wifely skills are slacking - but ultimately our relationship is really the best I have ever had. I can see my country through new eyes - we have so much fun showing each other our countries, cultures, foods and discussing the variety between our two worlds. I have been with him for 5 years and never became "bored", never thought of straying, never imagined someone could fill me more.

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