Trust Your Instincts

Submitted by To All The Women That May Be Doubting (United States), Jul 20, 2010 at 19:23

I, at times come by and read simply because, perhaps I have nothing better to do and I'm interested in knowing what is going on with others that have been in similar relationships.

I was in a relationship and he fit all the signs that were relayed on this sight and the US consulant. At first I wanted to ignore them or think it was culture differences. A sign from the very beginning was when he asked me what I thought about him ever wanting to marry another, perhaps later on after we'd been married. Of course this was a big no no to me and I wondered how he could ever even bring it up since we'd just began dating. I tried to blow it off or accept it as a joke, which he tried to play it off as but he also finished by saying, it was his right. Of course he swore he'd never do such things but later, the truth did come out. He wasn't good, he wasn't true, he was with three woman at the same time. He played on people's kindness to get things but he never specifically asked for things. He just gave sob stories and made people feel sorry for him. He didn't have any problems at all lying and he seem to be capable of anything to get what he wanted.

I did come on this site, overwhelmed and shocked by what I learned. And even though I wish I never met him, I also wish to make others aware that there are men out there purely looking for easy sex, money, and a green card or a way out of their country. They want to enjoy the woman, these men. At least for the time being while they are accumulating thingsand they may even care a bit. The man I knew, he'd never jepardize his world or life for another. I think most have plans on returning and marrying someone from their country later, after they've established themselves and alot of times you will never know if he has double life going on without you. Islam is strict and no matter if he says he isn't strong in the religion, it's a way of life. He will demand his children to be raised a Muslim and I wouldn't suggest anyone converting for the sake of a man. For me, Islam is just another element to control ...women. I've always believed in great respect for the man I love but it's a two way street with me. I'd never allow my man to be with two other women and just sit back and ignore it. The man I was with, he'd play the women against each other and say it was a sign of a bad Muslim if we didn't do this or that. You were good if you overlooked all his transgressions and never said a thing...when we all know in reality, you are just stupid.

He wasn't anything like that at first. He was the most loving creature, like all of them, I was his habibty..his queen etc...:)

All I know is, if you have any doubts, there are reasons. Trust your intuition. We have it for a reason. If you are trying to overlook the signs then whatever happens to you, happens. If you have doubts then don't go into a relationship stupidly.

Sometimes there are people on this site professing to have a great relationship. They may well have. I think we all hope everyone's marriage survives the test of time. I don't judge anyone that comes on and tries to give advice, whether they are happy in their marriage or not. All I know is, I knew for sometime that things weren't right in my relationship, almost from the beginning. I had worries and I hated it when all my friends would try to counsel against being with him. Alot of the friends were even Arab themselves and they'd say look....he's not a good person. I swear I saw it but I tried to ignore it. I take the blame for what happened to me. I'm just saying, if you see anything at all you don't like, they way he treats you, his strong opinions, how he is with friends, any of his views or ways, if you see anything that makes you question his sincerity, don't doubt yourself like I did. Trust your instincts.

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