To AnnMarie

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Aug 22, 2010 at 00:59

i think you need to stop looking too much into things, meeting people online isnt a healthy way to meet someone all the time, go out and meet people it is good to interact the good old way!

That's correct.

and when i mentioned people thought he was using me for a visa i meant friends and family, they were concerned at first, when i first met him, this is why it took a long time to get to know him and his background and culture, and i am still learning,

so when you say i should know about Algerian culture, i do know lots about but i still dont know everything, and sometimes when i do have time on my hands i like to look at different things about Algerian food culture and arts, i obviously clicked on this link, so it wasnt a mistake but i didnt put in the search engine ALGERIAN MEN so you shouldnt assume this about myself,

I didn't assume that. I merely reported what I found.

and when you say i spend my time talking to you instead of being with my husband, that is a bit of a lie, i spend my time doing different things, it just so happened to write a positive note about my marriage, what is wrong with that?

The problem is that people who have to "write notes" on the internet to total strangers about how utopian their personal life is raises serious questions. I keep finding people who do this are insecure about their relationship whether it's good, bad or ugly.

Also, your post on here was hardly a "note". More like a full-blown defense of your marriage when you can't even convince yourself of the reality of it.

again your comment and questions are quite agressive and hurtful so maybe you need to look within yourselve before you start judging other people

I always am amused when people say that i am "judging", especially since most posters on here actually ask for advice.

Pointing out red flags in a relationship is not judging.

it was one of the biggest decisions in my life ( to get married) and it would have been had it been someone who was non muslim,

True, but not relevant towards supporting your marriage. If you were so sure, you would not need to be making these kinds of statements aloud in public.

i dont practice islam and my husband doesnt expect me to, i am not supressed, since i married met my husband he has taught me a lot about life, and i apreciate him, and who knows one day

Your man does have to be a forceful conservative religious zealot. for this not to work out or to create problems.

In fact, a lot of scammers on here are anything but.

we may fall out off love with each other,

Interesting. Most people who are newlyweds don't consider that.

it happens to people every day but i cant spend my life worrying and over analyzing things else i would be a nervous wreck, sometimes you just have to go with your heart,

I've seen this pattern before. I think you're trying to convince yourself of this as you write it, and I think you do spend time worrying about it and have concerns about it or you would not keep coming on here.

Lots of people "go with their heart". I did and I got burned for it. I was fortunate the damage---financial and emotional and familial--- was mitigated. Not everyone on here has been so lucky.

Going with your heart can feel good momentarily, but as this forum has shown, the consequences are also dire. That's why most people don't bother with international or cross-cultural dating.

im a strong minded person though and will never be walked over or taken advantage of, the advise i do give though is if you meet someone, and he isnt form your culture or even if he is , take time to get to know them before you rush into things, and dont ever change for anyone, if you do you will loose the thing which is most important " yourselve " .

That's good advice, but your posts indicate that you really did not get to know him as well as you maybe would have liked.

Also, I've heard the whole "I'm an independent woman" speech before. Even the most ardent feminists have yielded to Muslim men before.

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