A Heartfelt Response---Doubt with Pakistani Man and Marriage

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Sep 3, 2010 at 19:38

Hi there London Girl

I understand that you like this man and have some strong feelings for him. But you contradict yourself in your post.

First you say that your relationship is peaceful, but the obvious exception is his cousin.

I have to say that there is the possibility of romance between him and his cousin. It's still not terribly unusual for men from Pakistan to marry their female cousins.

The best thing I can tell you is not to marry someone you have doubts about no matter who it is. A marriage is a contract of commitment between two people that involves the state.

Marrying him also does not mean his behaviour with his cousin will change. And I think you need to stop thinking of her as his cousin and more as a competitor for his romantic love.

You didn't mention if this was in-person or on-line. If this is an on-line relationship, my suggestion is to move on immediately because then I think he's just joshing around and maybe trying to have it both ways.

Otherwise, don't be afraid to call him out on it. If he threatens to leave over it then, it's probably best to let him go then.

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".