Cold feet no longer

Submitted by Cold feet (United States), Sep 8, 2010 at 21:17

Wow, where do I start ? After three years of chatting with my friend in Jordan, webcam, phone calls, I have begun to see the light. Now, I am not accusing him of anything, but so many red flags for so long. It is just NOW beginning to sink in.

He used to call or text me. not often, but occassionally , which made it kind of cute. We were online almost all the time. In the last year, things have changed drastically. I have the money to go see him, but when I go to purchase the plane ticket, I just cant do it. and its been like this for 3 years.

In January, he said he could no longer afford the internet, as he is disabled and on a set income, which I have known all along. Ok, he cant afford the internet. I let that go. Spent hundreds of dollars on calling cards to call him in order for us to stay connected. He hasnt texted me I would say in over a year. Why? He cant afford it. He has never ever ever asked me for money or even hinted that he wanted something, he is kind of poor and I know it, he has never hidden that from me. So, here we are, no internet, no cell phone for him to text me, I am doing all the calling. I am the one who is constantly being asked" when you coming here"....... As a Christian woman, I feel the Lord is protecting me from a disaster of a relationship. I don't know why, but I realized it slowly in the last week or so. He has so many excuses for not wanting to travel here to meet me. I know he can get a tourist visa, he owns property, a condo, and he can assure the embassy that he will go back. Instead, he is putting this all on me. Pressuring me to go there, STAY IN HIS HOUSE, which I thought was taboo for muslims, he said if I go there and we like eachother, he will sell his condo and follow me here to the United States, we can get married, and then his family will help him out with some money so he can open a business or buy us a house, so he can take care of me.

He basically refuses to come here, and I dont know to what degree I should help him with a visa,. I mean I dont mind helping with paper work, but he has to get it on his own merit, with his own money. I am very very attached to this man, I love him deeply and I miss being in touch with him all the time. But I just am too afraid to go there alone. Why dont he understand this? He may be a very nice person, I may be missing out on a great guy and regret it all of my life, and that is what has me so confused. It is hard letting him go. I am going to give him the chance to at least try to get a visa , he has to show some effort, which he isnt. He will not put me on his friends list on Facebook, his profile is private, he cant call, no chatting online, no money to come here, why is he holding on to me then? Help, I need some insight on this

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