To innocence

Submitted by cold feet (United States), Sep 12, 2010 at 19:55

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I feel so weak minded and confused about everything, and it helps more than anyone knows to have this kind of support system

Now, the fb account was from a long time ago, he hasnt been on the net. According to him, he has no problem with letting me stay at his house. What would he do if I did go there ? Make me sleep outside? I am serious, I didnt mean it sarcastically, but if he knows he isnt allowed to have me stay there if we arent married, then what is his plan? Why would he tell me this? Do you know that on Friday, I had a plane ticket reserved? I didnt purchase it, just resevered it, then with the travel warnings that were hightened, I cancelled. Again, another " devine intervention"? What exactly are his plans if I go there, and i cant stay there, he has no money, no internet, etc...? what do i do? Sit there and watch tv for two weeks? LOL UGH.

What do any of you think he has up his sleeves if I go there? I want honesty, dont beat around the bush, please I need the truth. I am so close to going there, then I keep getting these warnings.....I want to mention that he is disabled. He was absolutely DELIGHTED when I told him I would be there soon. I feel like I am letting him down, of course, each time I change my mind, he blames me for everything, tells me I am a weak woman , why am I afraid to travel, why did I waste 3 years with him? etc..... I hang up the phone feeling horrible, guilty and depressed. I need to make a decision one way or the other. It is driving me crazy :(

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